You could also reenact Dante's Inferno in an Ikea.

Cue possible howls of embarrassment from Malia and Sasha.

Yeah, making silly small talk at family functions is good practice for making silly small talk later on. Unless you want to avoid socialization completely (not a good strategy for success in most cases), the best thing to do is to start with the silly questions and branch off quickly. "How old are you again?" "I'm…

Actually, mine never really ask questions like that, at least not to me. Instead, we find out answers through casual conversation and then gossip heavily behind each other's backs so that everyone has all the details.

I'm pretty sure she's the Prime Minister's sister! I always liked that she and Liam Neeson were just platonic friends.

I really liked it the first time I watched it (with friends/booze in college), liked it a bit less the second time, thought it was kind of dumb the third time, and will probably not watch it again.

I was wondering if that was what inspired this piece. Definitely the best arc from that movie. : )

Not foolproof. Black kids have been shot inside their houses, too.

Spanking? Seriously?

Bingo.

We can laugh at Color Me Beautiful (I read my mom's 1970s copy like it was a bible), but I've tried other colors and I've tried "my" (summer!) colors and "my" colors definitely look best.

I'm guessing her parents actually said something like, "What the hell were you thinking? Do you want to have a career in politics or not?"

I read through every page of every (identical) catalog for a while before getting my doll, and knew exactly how much she and all her possessions cost, and barely dared to touch her much less mess with her hair. O.O Poor thing. She's spent most of her life packed in boxes.

I never unbraided Kirsten's hair, because I saw it unbraided in the catalog pictures and knew it would never be the same afterward. But I was a pretty boring kid. : )

I always eat it, and have never minded the taste. Clearly I need to go to Starbucks more often.

That sounds sort of like your grandma knew you were going under her bed and wanted you to steal the books and read them. I've heard of people planting books for their kids that way that the kids might not otherwise read. : )

I feel as though, by merely voicing this idea, you have unleashed a terrible evil upon the world.

Moreover, why not choose something like Jones? :D

That scene scarred me. -_-

"Beau" is pronounced "bo." : ) "Boo" would be a mispronunciation/regionalism.