Is anyone else hoping for another call to Yolanda? Anyone? Just me?

Mmmmmm maybe. I have to get permission. I'm dying to release my Chris Pratt audio just because he's such a joy to listen to.

A great many of my poos come in under 30 seconds. Fiber! Tons of water! And exercise!

(These are the things I use, I mean. I'm not shouting at you to use them, though I do highly recommend them.)

Ughh FUCK DD BREAKFAST SANDWICHES!! They are always coming up with new ones to try and tempt be, but I refuse to buy anything there except for iced coffee (in a pinch) and munchkins (in a more supreme pinch). But here in Chicago, DD's are every-fucking-where. I will see signs for their new Chicken Biscuit Sandwich and…

Arrr! I not be listenin' t'yer lies! Avast, ye scurvy dog! We'll feed ya t'the sharks! ARRR!

No Banter.

That's not fair. I liked Temple of Doom. Sure it wasn't nearly as good as those two, but then again there's a lot worse movies making a lot of money today.

You know who else hated Indiana Jones? Hitler.

I need this in my home. But y'know, legitimately.

The problem, obviously, being that none of us have nearly enough GotG in our lives. Sad face.

YEAH, CAITLIN DOUGHTY! (This is not a super appropriate response to this piece, but I just love her so much, I can't help it.)

Baby, if you're wrong.....I don;t wanna be right....::smarm::

Celebrating Talk Like A Pirate Day through the power of GIFs.

Welcome. I'm a grey. I can assure you that doesn't make me "less than." I'd really love if there was an effort to ungrey more regular commenters. I had a star lo these many years ago, but now not so much. I still have the care though. So welcome.

Guy, Jezebel has invaded all of Gawker, even Kotaku. You may as well accept that women are equal and are entitled to equal representation and opinion and media now.

Actually, I'm really grateful to my wife for carrying my balls around because THEY'RE SO FUCKING BIG.

Don't you hate it when people with penises treat women like human beings worthy of respect?

Which is quite right, as far as it goes — but here's a counter proposal: We do have to live in the culture, because living in an isolation tank in a cave with a paper bag over our head isn't an option for the overwhelming majority of us. I'd rather that culture not be nakedly contemptuous of the half of the human…

Wow... I think I just got a bingo on my "Stupid cliched douchey responses to feminism" card!

Because CLEARLY those are the only two options.