I wished to be a city kid. So hard.

Um.

That’s what I think too. It seems like it ought to be easy. You’re either an insane, morally bankrupt and mentally limited bigot who wants to elect the same or, y’know, not. The end.

WTF was the CNN guy thinking? That was a dick move.

Staged.

I die of joy so transporting that I am assumed bodily into heaven.

I would settle for a humiliating loss and a suicide.

Not per capita it doesn’t, douche. Also, fuck off.

Wife decides to do a little re-org of the walk-in closet, is all WUT IS ALL THIS...UM BYE, GOTTA BOUNCE.

Ohshit.

The husk that was Brad must be no longer usable for sustenance.

Hell, in my day, if a boy wanted to ruin a gal’s reputation, he had to do it dialing a rotary phone, or his words only carried as far as his human voice could yell.

Well, at least I’ll drop some weight. There won’t be time for meals.

“You’d bring your friends Leo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt. And then you would leave.”

I expect great things from our Rebecca...diva’s got herself a writing gig.

OMG I missed the news that diva’s got herself a writing gig. TO THE AMAZONS, (heigh) HO! WE RIDE AT DAWN.

http://gawker.com/5994974/the-most-deranged-sorority-girl-email-you-will-ever-read

Nothing will ever be better than that sorority girl and her (admit it) spot-on analysis of her housemates’ social deficiencies and sage advice with respect to the amelioration of the same.

Coulda been worse. She could’ve GeorgeFirst’d it and puked in Donald’s face.

I watched that with the sound off because my husband is dozing, didn’t want to wake him. With the sound off, it’s super creepy. They look totally for sale. And scared. Those number scores pop up as their eyes dart around, over that frozen, appalled smile.