For the non-nerds in the audience:

Can we please not refer to her as “Montana-American.” Seriously, would you refer to anyone else from another state as “New York-American” or “Oregon-American.” She has lived in Washington during the entire time she has decided to appropriate an identity which doesn’t belong to her. Leave my state out of it. We have…

Was gonna yell, but then I laughed. A+, friend.

More Rachel Dolezal, yeesh. Look, I apologize if someone else has made this same point but could someone explain to me how she’s any different from Caitlyn Jenner?

In Tanning Salon vouchers, obvs.

WITH THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

Also, Doctors in Texas will no longer be required to tell uninsured patients with heart problems that chest pains are just “Jesus huggin’ you tighter”.

What scares me the most is the chance that if this doesn’t sell well for Nintendo they could assume there is no market for future REAL Metroid games. I know they said they are going to work on new games but that can change.

No. If you want to smear the 3DS with any shred of credence look elsewhere in it’s library, because this right here is an abomination by any standards, not just the 3DS’. This thing is heinous on a conceptual level, no amount of graphical detail would be able to fix that.

I have to wonder if the backlash would be at all this strong if they had simply named it “Federation Force” instead of “Metroid Prime Federation Force”.

Even as someone who hardly cares about Metroid, it’s a pretty big disappointment, just to see them do this with the IP.

Because that shit is ACCURATE.

Bitch, have a SEAT.

Remember: Every time we read about Rachel, we’re missing valuable Kardashian news.

Oh, God. I hadn’t even thought of that. More embarrassment!!!

The fact that it’s a vaguely similar catchphrase to something Britney said 8 years ago is a bit embarrassing.

Chapter 11 Creative Bankruptcy.

This woman’s face pretty much says it all.