I re-read My Sweet Audrina for the Tomato Nation Book Club and OHHHH MY GOOOODDDD. Andrews’ books legit read like a person who’s only heard about sex and how much things like televisions cost but never actually done the deed or gone to Best Buy. Just Gothic trashiness and ridiculousness to spare.

In The Witching Hour Uncle Julien bats for both teams and the family ghost (who identifies as male) seduces the female witches and Uncle Julien (who is presumably the only male witch in the family tree)  

Love The Witching Hour, read it a couple of times now and could read it again. The whole family history of witches in The Garden district of New Orleans is just so beautiful and amazing, I can almost just see myself in that house when I read it. Love the characters of Julien and Mary Beth. Someone needs to make it…

I remember reading an adult book in 9th grade for a book report and I found out the hard way that one of the ways the teacher would test if we had read it was by randomly flipping to a place in the book, reading a paragraph, and asking us what it was about. I was panicking the whole time that she would flip to one of…

I read The Witching Hour for a book report in the 7th grade. I left out the sex in my presentation to the class and focused on the family history and the ghost. My teacher said that it sounded interesting and she was going to put it on her personal list to read over the summer.

Of course they wouldn’t attack Canadians. They’re alpha predators, not assholes.

Ryan Seacrest is upset that Katy Perry is being offered way (waaaay) more to do American Idol than he is. [Page Six]

She will forever be my Claudia, the only person correctly cast in Interview With A Vampire.

Madonna was terrible in Evita. They eviscerated the score to suit her limited vocal talents. She had no business anywhere near that film.

In fairness, this feud is hardly new. Patti has never been particularly shy about expressing how much she dislikes the film version of Evita, though she may not have done so before with such... color. Either way, she’s not wrong.

“I thought it [the scene I saw] was a piece of shit. Madonna is a movie killer. She’s dead behind the eyes. She couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag. She should not be on film or on stage.”

(Fig. 1) Madonna reading the article

I was screaming at Ms. LuPone last night! It was deliciously savage. Chris Meloni and Andy’s reactions were great. I loved every second of it and wanted more.

Wow, Patti sure LaPOWNED Madonna!

More like Petty LuPone, amiright?

She’s dead behind the eyes. She couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag.

if you are #TeamMadge on this one, please show yourself right now so the rest of us can easily identify and avoid the wrong opinion-havers.

She’s dead behind the eyes. She couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag. She should not be on film or on stage

I am still genuinely offended by how low-key people were with the punk theme. I’d have been like “bring on the Vivienne Westwood and McQueen!” Then I’d have died of sartorial perfection, proud of what I accomplished in this life.