I have another almost-encounter. I teach at the same middle school that Sammy Hagar sent his kids. One day after school, I was at my desk grading, and I look up, and through my door I see motherfucking Sammy Hagar, and all his hair, looking for his kid. He's pretty short, which surprised me. Also, I never taught his…

Actually, one of my friends was at CVS in Windsor the other day, and Tom Waits was standing in line in front of her at the pharmacy. Stars: they are just like us!

The year is 1990 and Slaughter's "Up All Night" and "Fly to the Angels" is at the top of the charts. Hair metal is enjoying one last summer of freedom before 1991 and Nirvana bitch slap it out of existence.

I spent a very long portion of my 20's at the Belvy.

I never thought I'd live to see the day when the belvedere and round robin are mentioned on Jezebel. PS they are selling the Dirty Bird. True facts.

That Adele's is still weird! Back when we were dating, Mr. Run and I walked there for breakfast one morning. It was very meh. And now they are calling that back room a "banquet room." I drive past it every day.

Pink lemonade was my absolute favorite. Some how I ended up with the Skittles flavors and the lime flavor is disgusting. I still have it in a drawer somewhere and it's got to be 15 years old.

Ding ding ding! She is a nut.

Got it. Well, I guess this means we don't teach in the same district. Surprisingly, we do not have a high amount of PBEs, even though one of the most vocal anti-vax pediatricians in the state has her practice in this town. Still, what a pain in the ass... And, to make life even better, my husband is immunocompromised.…

Wait, I teach in Marin, too! When did the notice go out to show proof of vaccination? Gah! I have no idea where my records are. I grew up in the Midwest. Crap!

Damn... The superintendent sent out a letter from our county office of ed detailing their measles protocol, but we haven't had any cases yet, so they aren't asking for records yet. Alameda County isn't that far away, so I imagine it's only a matter of time, though.

Word! My husband is 6 months out from a kidney transplant. His WBC is extremely low thanks to the immunosuppressants he will be on FOR LIFE. We also live in an area notorious for low vax rates. I give major side-eye to people not vaccinating their kids. And I am vocal about it.

I hit VIB in December and was all, "wow! I spent $250 at Sephora. Word. Look at all the lovely products I have now." And then yesterday, I was looking at the website and saw that you had to spend $350 in a year to get VIB.

I don't think she was in the movie The Other Woman. Blind items always drop hints. That hint is like a Mack truck.

Oh come on, it's either Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann or Kate Upton. Leslie Mann is more of a strawberry blonde, and Kate Upton is barely an actress, so my money is on Cameron Diaz.

Yuck. You actually received money to take the ring? I wrote a beautiful song about stars, on my lentil ukulele of course, and sang it softly as the artisan lentil jeweler a gently handcrafted my ring. They then placed the ring on a bed of moss and gently floated the ring down a fresh, spring-fed brook, where my fiancé…

Ok, that's a fine substitute, then. Still. Sexual chi. I'm dead.

This is, like, THE MOST Bay Area of embarrassing sex stories. Ever. Please let this have happened in the East Bay.

Oh, I have another one. Actually, I have a few, but I'll just share thus one.

I was rolling deep on E and barfed on some TKE's shoes at a kegger. He took me back to his apartment (thank the baby Jesus, he didn't live in the house) and put on Ani DiFranco (whaaaaaa?) and we had awkward sex. He looked kinda like Seth Green in the Can't Hardly Wait days. He had on a visor. It was 2000.