I’m ...confused by your dress. Did it actually involve balloons or was that just for the pic?

I found a picture of it! Notice the Payless Dyeables shoes.

FUNNY YOU ASK. When I ping the Jezebel channel in Slack, that alerts everyone who belongs to the Jezebel channel, which includes several of Gawker’s executive editors, people who work at different sites, people who work in sales, video, art...

You don’t need to defend Hitler, this isn’t the hill to die on.

I’m the liar.

That I can make myself straight.

Eh, if it’s their first time, it’s gonna be a little bang.

Well done, ladies. You’re doing the atheist, liberal, pinko commie, gun-control-believing, pro-choice-having, Obamacare-voting Lord’s work.

“This salad is dressed,” and “I own my own company.” Since he wasn’t a United States citizen, he couldn’t vote, but had nonetheless found his way to Republican events via an older man who, we learned from Vickie, had been kicked out of every Republican club in the city for groping women. “Don’t you say his name in…

I bet she was letting him kiss her forehead because they’re not allowed to kiss on the mouth till the wedding day. o_0

He got way flustered and said “you didn’t need to tell me that.”

This summer, I had a sex dream about Rob Ford (yes, that’s the crack smoking ex-mayor of Toronto). In the dream we were married, and had people coming over for dinner in 20 minutes - so I convinced him we should sneak in a quickie before our guests arrived (yes, I convinced HIM). We then proceeded to have intense sex,…

I’ve had my share of weird sex dreams (one memorable one where my partner and I decide to switch genitals), but the worst part of all of them is that sometimes I have dreams where I forget that all these men I’ve slept with are just figments of my imagination, and someone threatens to tell my boyfriend what a cheating…

Just to clarify, I would not fuck Ditto the Pokemon.

And a couple more short ones, just because the plethora of weird sex dreams I have could become a novel.

1) I was fucked by the entire cast of Magic Mike on the floor while surrounded by the entirety of my male friend group from college (15+guys).

My sister was eating me out.

I mean the sex dream about my estranged father was uncomfortable enough but probably the one that stands out the most was about my boss, and then I had to go into my internship the next day and listen to him talk to me about press releases while trying really hard not to think about the prior night’s dream.

Not too weird by my first sex dream featured Laurence Fishburne.