1. Yes, because money. Obvi. And there’s probably a hot porn person to guide me through it.

Reason number 1 why we desperately need immigration reform. Precarious legal status always leads to exploitation!

You should complain to the paper for being so irresponsible as to publish that hack in the name of false objectivity.

Well it was on Gawker at least: http://gawker.com/alabama-which-…

#2 is a real thing in “incel” circles. Google “government gets girlfriends”. Very alarming.

HAIR ENVY

Feather epaulets 4ever!

This is one of the top reasons I want to be a wealthy celebrity. Top quality costumes for Halloween!

I’ve kneaded pizza dough in there for 10 minutes at a time with no problems. Go for it, buyers!

I’ve kneaded pizza dough in there for 10 minutes at a time with no problems. Go for it, buyers!

Oh wow I wish my teachers had gotten real with us dumb kids in history class. I envy your power to teach non-whitewashed, unsanitized history.

Ban everything but 18th century muskets.

There’s a great /r/nosleep story about this sort of thing.

When isn’t she crying? Seriously.

PP operates on a sliding scale, so it’s free if you can’t afford it essentially.

Not to one-up you, but I like to share my HP room (future nursery) with people who would appreciate it: http://imgur.com/a/4ak3S

:(

I went this weekend and there was all of that PLUS GOATS. Fall, motherfuckers!

Winter is my second favorite, so perhaps I can elucidate: snow is pretty to look at from inside by the fireplace in a blanket reading books. And baking. And drinking. Basically, it makes you feel like less of a turd for not doing outside activities.

Fall is for apple snobs like me. I picked a peck of apples and bought cider, cider doughnuts, and apple butter last weekend. I ordered this sweatshirt last week :

Oh man I don’t think it relaxed me at all. I’d wake up in a cold sweat forgetting where I was when the machine turned off.