Is this the part where we post pictures of our dogbeasts? Because I'm doing that. Meet Lulu, (husband), and Spaghetti.

Omg I love red nose beagles like Maymo & Penny on YouTube. So cute.

That's a fun saying! Because my dress's zipper broke right before the ceremony and I had to be sewn in.

Listen to his special "Beta Male" and watch Silicon Valley. He is lovely.

This is a really awkward length.

This is like a sexy headmistress outfit, and I fucking love it.

This is the best thing she's ever worn. Also, give me it.

I really dig this dress.

Shit, I can't imagine baking cookies all day on kitchen tile without my most cushiony shoes.

Plus, with libraries getting on the e-book train, I haven't been to a physical library in months!

Best pizzas: Italian sauce + green olives + my homemade pizza sauce (from my motherfucking garden, y'all). Alternatively, breaded chicken + penne + alfredo sauce + drunkenness.

The party pooper video is the best one.

Start here: http://www.reddit.com/r/MakeupAddict…

My fine straight hair responds to 3 methods:

I wore sparkly pumps with "something blue" on the undersides.

The royal blue with burgundy has been my favorite color combo since A Cinderella Story with Hillary Duff.

Them shits are best deep fried. Get alllllll sorts of crunchy.

Target carries e.l.f., which has an amazing gel liner for $3. AND is comes with a little brush.

Target carries e.l.f., which has an amazing gel liner for $3. AND is comes with a little brush.