How the hell does it take a grown man 8 minutes to escape from an unlocked car?

I used to play pretty seriously. The rules are simple. The main goal is to achieve “The Queen’s Errand,” or have the most netted balls by the end of the crow’s watch. If the pepper is placed in your path, you have to wheel the cranberry using only the poetic side of your bike. The lines on the court indicate the…

Shut up, you goddamned COMMIE!

you are a garbage person that hates joy

I love how ever time Bill Murray sees this movie, he will call Kelly Lynch’s husband (Mitch Glazer) and give him play-by-play when Dalton bones his wife. Murray even called him once from freakin’ RUSSIA!

Blood Jort

this is always my favorite one

Even fridge space gets co-opted. You will never buy a cold 30-pack at the store again, or else you will get The Look.

“I’ve spoken with Native Americans across this great country. Two, in particular, really resonated with me. Their names were Tibia and Fibula from the Snapcreek Nation, and they just shattered me with their enthusiasm for the name. Absolutely cracked me up.”

You don’t deserve to drink beer.

The methodology in this article is DEEPLY flawed.

That state has ... no water

I asked him today if he was a Beatles fan, and he replied that he heard they were good and intended to give them a listen in the future, adding that he really liked their song “Hotel California.”

Wow, I’ll regularly kill a 6 of something “crafty” and get that nice drunk going on. Have I been doing it wrong the whole time?

Or do I just need AA?

Or, you know, deciding 33 years on the job was enough to decide things had run their course.

You’re right...Super Dave Osborne is a legend.

The best Dave in this clip is not Letterman.

All three of their regularly-produced beers are really good. And I really dig the uniform can design.