once you finally figure out the mystery of the properly inserted USB cord, grab a sharpie (or small piece of tape) and make a mark on it so you know for the next time. Dullards.

why are there only four Pistons on the court?

I think you might be “ingesting” it wrong.

please stop with this picture (or any picture of Kroenke).

135? He’s dreaming of hitting 135 one day. Today he’s pushing 105, 110 maybe. Smith machine bars ain’t 45lbs.

and it’s hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

TRUE STORY: My kid was watching the Texans playoff game and said, unprompted, “Texans is a stupid nickname.”

Did the skier look like this?

I was at that game!

a baby made out of ham? a piglet?

nice job, I lol’d.

she hates Star Wars, yet her twitter handle is practically Alderaan? I call bullshit.

My favorite part of this article was when you gave just one of the beers a letter grade. Quit smoking dope with those damn deadhead hippies, it will make you stupid!

I worked at home depot many years ago and the bird seed in the garden section attracted mice. A coworker took great thrill in putting out glue traps to catch them and and drown them in a bucket of water.

If a bird can shit on Putin and he keeps going, a bloody nose better not stop Obama!

Damn redksins can’t even do a scalping correctly

Heinz. Hellman. Welch/Smucker.

Why would you want your kid to “ruin santa for everyone at school”? How is that hilarious? It seems kinda fucked-up that you enjoy the sadness of children. Plus, if you’ve already ruined the magical myth of Santa for your kids, then you’ve missed out on a prime opportunity to keep your kids in line for the month of…

you can leave it there, as long as you leave too, nerd.

Per a source with knowledge of the situation, the NFL has removed referee Pete Morelli’s crew from the Colts-Steelers game to be played on Sunday night.