$30 million for wearing something stupid on his head and doing zero work? Where have I seen this before?

+1 Schrute Buck

Same thing happened to me. All I did was make fun of Deadspin's love of Lil B. I shit you not. What the hell, guys?

"We're not going to out-Deadspin Deadspin. And besides, we hate Lil B."

I prefer a dry rub.

Irsay finished the interview by promising to once again make "football" his #1 priority.

"Great news! We won't be seeing that loudmouth douche on HBO this fall!"

Thanks, Smart Water™, for helping me get through this post.

Not to be confused with the Qatar "Death Rattle" they'll be using in 2022.

Get that paper, baby.

This is clearly just another clever marketing stunt to promote the You Should Be Afraid of Everything and Never Leave Your House Again Campaign.

The "No Scissor Moves" rule is going to be super confusing at the women's World Cup next year.

What will happen when we get to 50?

Me: [Adds "I must go. My people need me." caption.]

70 dog years from now, he'll say he was just following orders.

Wanksta.

+1

Finger in ear, horrible gas, this is definitely mi padre.

This chick is totally obsessed with you, Jeets.