Denise Huxatable set the bar for cool 80’s teen so unobtainably high most girls couldn’t see it?

Oh, for the sake of all fucks in the world, just. Stay. Home.

“My husband and I are vegan. My daughter is vegetarian and both of them are allergic to gluten, lactose, shellfish, soya, onions, peppers and GM foods.” I’m assuming the kids survive on eating air, then. Assuming it’s not red air, cause they’d probably be allergic to that too.

It’s a great night for schadenfreude.

No the sandwich is for after seducing. Because nothing’s more fun than running to the bathroom, mopping up,putting yourself back together, and then going to muck about with mayo in the kitchen.

I offered to make my husband a sandwich on the weekend, and he turned me down. What does that mean? Is he getting his sandwiches elsewhere? Is there an Ashley Madison for sandwiches?

safes are where you things you want to be safe

Do we know if the baby had an older toddler sibling? Older toddler siblings can be mean little bastards.

I remember once as a kid being super picky once and trying to pick every piece of parsley flake off a cheese pizza at a restaurant for like 30 minutes. In retrospect I would not have blamed my parents for smacking me

This entitled housewife looks back at her impressionable child and calmly says “She is yelling because that girl deserves it, the service is terrible every time we come here.” And then she looked me straight in the eyes.

Hahaha and her ‘dishwashing’ shot, I can’t even. I bet she had to ask the photographer how normal people wash dishes.

Thanks. I literally have no clue how she came out so big and healthy. I lost 15-16lbs during the pregnancy, and another 25lbs within two weeks postpartum. I can only imagine how big she would have been if I had gone to 40 weeks! The one real downer was that I was unable to breastfeed. She refused to latch, but I…

Since I will be in the greys forever few will see this, but I had severe hyperemesis gravidarum. It is not morning sickness. It is severe nausea and/or vomiting. It lasted all day, all night, and for the entire pregnancy, when I delivered at 35 weeks due to pre-eclampsia.

I really wish I hadn’t clicked through, because now I don’t know if I can live without matching mother/daughter ID bracelets.

She can’t win- if she’d rolled out of there in sweatpants and a cardigan the tabloids would have shrieked bloody murder, she toes the party line and gets blamed for making other people feel bad. People: Kate Middleton willingly married into one of the most conservative institutions in modern society; this is not the…

On the other hand, someone I know had a mother in the delivery room who posted a picture of her mid pushing. You could see...things. :(

The perfectly coifed post-baby photos actually REALLY freak me out. It shows how far into the deep end we’ve gone with this social media thing as a society. I work in beauty. I fucking love makeup and will defend it as a feminist choice. If you are doing this for you, if you feel empowered by putting on some lipstick…

Theres a photo of me about..3 hours or so after giving birth: My husband is lovingly holding our son. I’m in the background, looking on from the hospital bed with a box of Cheez-Its in my hand and a mouth full of Oreos.

Lol. Omg a millionaire child has a dental issue? However will they pay for it????

Counterpoint: David Beckham had a lovely tenor voice until he started using a pacifier at age 26.