Or Jen and the Nanny cheat on Justin?

Don’t forget the one where Justin cheats on Jen with the nanny.

longest gestational period in the animal kingdom

What a drag it must be to be Jennifer Aniston’s friend. You pretty much have to go to her house every time she invites you over just in case this time it really is her secret wedding.

Great. Here’s to another year of “Jen’s FINALLY Pregnant” followed by “Jen. SAD AND ALONE” which will again be followed by “Jen’s Baby Bump” and then “Justin Leaves Jen Because She’s Got Baby on the Brains” etc, etc., barf.

How dare you. I have to have blood drawn tomorrow, so I can’t eat after eight o’clock, and there’s not enough time to make pancakes before the eight o’clock deadline, so I’m going to have to go to bed with dreams of those fucking-delicious looking pancakes in my head and my mouth watering and bemoaning the fact that…

My husband and I went to a neighborhood eating place which was an old saloon. Since it is tiny they fixed up the back patio with plastic walls and heaters. It was a cold evening, however they had the heaters on high and it was not too bad. An older man and his even older father come in. The old man demanded the…

Between the people who don’t actually understand what they are ordering and the people who really want to order a milkshake (can I get a frappachino with seventeen shots of caramel and toffee, please?) but need to pretend they like coffee, I don’t know why coffee shops have become so popular and necessary to everyone,…

It continues to amaze me that some customers think that people who professionally make coffee drinks don’t know how to make coffee drinks. Like a barista doesn’t know how to make a cappuccino?

In 14 years that engine isn’t going to scream “I hate you!” and stomp up the steps.

I saw a blog post along the lines of “feminists push women away from traditional skills.” She went on to say how much she enjoys sewing, and how no “feminism” gives her the pride she gets from wearing something she’s made.

This meme is so stupid the only response I can even think of is Thanks, Obama!

Yes, as a husband of a wife, the only way we get down is non consensually.

The werent at home being raped by their husbands, obviously they had murder coming to ‘em.

ALL pumps are crap and need to be reinvented. Babies’ mouths are not hard plastic cones. Look at the completely insane creativity pushing the bounds of silicone in the sex toy market - I refuse to believe we couldn’t have safer, more comfortable pumps if we put any real effort into it.

I read Holly’s book and she made it sound like Hefner at least asked, “Would you like some quaaludes?” before dosing his partners.

I never imagined a world in which that felt less gross to say, but here we are.

Except needing to nurse and not being able to hurts much more. It can be a sharp, stabbing pain. And if you don’t take care of it, you can get blocked and infected milk ducts, which are just as horribly painful as they sound.

As long as Bristol promises not to visit her mother at work - can’t have a lactating woman that close to The Donald.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me he farted into a baby. Nothing surprises me anymore. Who exactly is he trying to win over in this election? He already offended minorities, immigrants, women, veterans. Who’s next? I’m serious. Who do we think he’ll offend next? Will he be brave enough to offend Christians?…

He is the disgusting one. It blows my mind that people actually want him running our country.