Vince Neil.

I feel sad for adults who don’t enjoy being around children. I don’t like children acting out in restaurants (see my first post; I try to be helpful where I can) but I was in a restaurant a while ago and a kid was screaming, too far away from me to grab him and calm him down, and my lunch companion made a crack about…

A lot of parents don’t seem to understand the idea, but those who bring children to a public place are imposing on those around them.

If you think bringing a child into a public place is imposing on you, you probably should just stay in your home.

My gentleman caller (or “boyfriend” as he insists I call him) has a big problem with kids in restaurants. Although he won’t admit it, the presence of children is his benchmark for the quality of any establishment. And he is hyperaware of any child in his general vicinity.

sorry I can’t hear you over the deafening sound of Zoe Kravitz’s beauty

Thank you for writing this. Thank you for publishing this.

Okay, you need some background to understand this story. So you know the stereotype of the redneck family tree that doesn’t fork? I have the opposite problem. My family tree is like a kudzu vine that just keeps forking all over the place. At any given moment, there’s at least one relative forking somebody they have no…

So it’s hot as balls outside when my vagina overheats are you saying that it is hazardous to run 50/50 coolant through my vagina? Does this also apply in winter with anti- freeze? I’m in California so the anti freeze thing doesn’t always happen but it can get below freezing where I’m at in the state.

lululemon. probably.

or

It means stabbing the barista and robbing the till.

You order the coffee, take one look at it, sneer in disgust and hurl it at your server’s face.

I cannot wait till 2016 when we find out what ordering a small coffee the Trump way means.

I need to print the one out about the three-year-old peeing into a cup and paste it all over the walls of the bathroom. If a three-year-old can pee in a cup, grown ass men can sure as shit pee without spraying all over the walls, floor, and (memorably) ceiling.

If someone could’ve taught me how to differentiate razor burn from genital herpes, it would’ve saved me a lot of grief in this department....key takeaway: nothing like having a bunch of Greek doctors laugh at you and your labia.

Let’s all open up a crisp, cold, refreshing can of this:

I know an only child who was one of the most entitled, spoiled, demanding, selfish human beings I ever met. I know another only child who (literally) has devoted her life working with & saving sea turtles. She organizes charities not just for the turtles but other animal species in danger as well as shelters for…

I know this is good and I am so glad that these women are getting at least some closure, but goddamn if it doesn’t still make me so fucking mad that it had to come to this before that happened.