Scar them? Ha! She thinks the bathroom is the greatest. Sure doesn’t look scarred to me. Plus what do most parents of kids 5 and under do in public bathrooms? They take them into the stall with them. Hell, when my baby was a few months old and wouldn't let me shower, I'd put her in her car seat in the bathroom and…

that I’d spend way more money that she’d like.

Just to take a break from the outrage over everything that's wrong here: congratulations to Liberty High School for their perfectly sensible judgment here. Suspensions for the boys vs a verbal reprimand for the girls seems about right.

Blonde leg hair. You might think it wouldn't show up - which it doesn't, when you're trying to shave. But step outside and suddenly I look like Edward fucking Cullen.

I totally suck at petit pointe, mending, knitting for our poor soldiers overseas, playing the harpsichord, flirting from behind a fan, organizing my dance card and making blanc mange. Ladying, why so hard?

I’m remarkably bad at hair removal. Like, it grows absolutely all over my fucking body and I still haven’t figured out how to manage this like a grown women should. Spare your “wax!” comments, I can’t spend 100+ dollars a month on this stuff. I also can’t spend hours crying on the bathroom floor with unpulled wax…

At Kevin Spacey’s house like everybody else.

My 11th and 12 grade history teacher had a poster of dictators behind her desk. The print was really small, so it had to be read from right in front of it. Y

The feels...

Apology pizzas should definitely be a thing. There’s a website where you can order a glitter bomb sent to people who’ve wronged you, why not a website where you can order a pizza sent to someone you’ve wronged?

All I want is for the tabloids to back off and let him breathe. I just saw the cover of what will be next week’s In Touch, I think? It says that despite the interview, let’s not be fooled! He’s on suicide watch. I’m so disgusted. They will not stop trying to turn this into something negative or him being on the verge…

Going to church every Sunday doesn't make you any more of a Christian than sitting in your garage makes you a car. That would be all I would have to say to them.

Leave a bad yelp review Lolz. You.just.dont.get.it.

Between listening to a relative say that she couldn’t agree with Bruce Jenner completely altering God’s plan for him to these lumpy shit stains claiming it was the devil that canceled their GoFundMe pity party, I think I’d much rather have Satan micromanaging my life. Plus, Satan clearly believes EVERYONE should have…

Ugh, fuck that. Anyone whose kid is crying gets to go in front of me for all the things, always. Neither of us particularly want to hear a child’s wails in an enclosed space, so everyone wins when you let the parents go ahead and move the party to the parking lot. I firmly believe that the people glaring at you to…

And just think:

What part of “legal” don’t you get?

Awesome! I’ve been an expat for nearly two decades. Please, tell me how little I know of the world.

i am a collapsed catholic and a devout atheist. these people are NOT christians, they are hateful bigots. ya know, that whole “love thy neighbor as thyself” business that is supposed to be the foundation of the religion doesn’t just apply to your neighbors who are exactly like you. these people make me VERY stabby.…

I’m sorry I had to ban you for insulting Samoas.