My uncle's wife is a freak. She always gets dogs in pairs and when one needs to be put down, kills the other one at the same time. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??

Well the dogs didn't commit suicide.

WE MUST GO ON THE OFFENSIVE!

Those are the same 5% responsible for war, poverty, disease, famine. They are why we can't have nice things. They're the party pooper at every party. The guest who got too drunk at the wedding and puked on the bride. They're filibustering our joy.

This x 10000.

"I saw it snowed once. Therefore Global Warming isn't a thing."

I mean, I'm no scientist but I'll play one in Congress!

"By science I mean carefully selected scientific articles that fit my ideology"

God, there are plenty of people on the right just as bad or worse as Cruz ideologically, but I don't think any of them are as repulsive in every aspect as he is. No one else has that constant simpering jerks-off-in-a-mirror expression or that "I'm so taken with my own cleverness I can barely form a sentence" delivery.…

What in the immortal FUCK does this have to do with autism?

So if I just fucking devour a giant tub of Twizzlers from Costco, I win, right? I'll be doing that later anyway. AUTISM AWARENESS.

"I'll have a venti black medium roast, please.

I don't want your fucking prints, Oprah. GTFO with that garbage.

Penn State + frats is like the Large Hadron Collider of stupid. The Large Stupid Collider. There's a non-zero chance of them creating a stupidularity and destroying the earth.

Pretty sure the "World's Dumbest" title is only a temporary one, since there seems to be no bottom for Fratty Dipshits everywhere.

Just a gentle reminder here not to put your criminal activity on Facebook, unless you'd like it to serve as a testament to your absolute and shattering idiocy.

I don't know why these people can't just post anonymous pictures of their genitals on the internet like the rest of us.

I hope you're breaking the boxes down and recycling them. Cardboard doesn't belong in a landfill.