WHY IS THIS NEWS?

If he’s POTUS, make sure your spacecraft is privately funded. He’s the kind of “run it like a business!” fuckwad who would totally defund NASA.

He’s not going to be the High Chancellor. He’s going to dissolve the presidency and name himself National CEO of the United Corporation of America.

There was ONE EPISODE in Florida where the wife was actually awesome. Her husband was all doing his best Pauly Shore impression: “dudes I just care about a pool and da beach and a place for my drumz!” and she was like “Seriously, new construction, and no HOA, I’m serious about this.” They would go to places that were…

holy shit that is brilliant. BRILLIANT.

1-4. correct. a+

Can I get a tax credit for the time that was wasted crying about this bullshit?

Yesterday I was running at 9pm, in a pretty safe area, and I passed by some kids hassling a homeless man, and then I heard what I thought sounded like a gun shot and I jumped into some bushes and hid, until the homeless man walked by me and told me I was crazy.

Hey, fellow parent here, but I think that your xmas card picture sounds like one of those internet “Parenting: You’re Doing it Right!” moments. You’re teaching your child to have a sense of humor, not take things too seriously, fulfill family obligations, have fun, and most importantly, be confident in herself. Any…

THAT’S ADORABLE AND CLASSY I WOULD PUT THAT ON MY FRIDGE IF I RECEIVED IT.

one side of my in-laws family just takes my facebook pictures, puts them into a passive-aggressive “good news yearly!” newsletter and sends it to dozens of people against my will.

your cats are adorable, you have won xmas.

I’m so glad you did this, the worst part about Donald Trump is the fact that there are people who emphatically support him, and when he turns up the racism, bigotry, and nonsense, they support him more. No one in my office is willing to admit to being a Trump fan, my card-carrying Republican parents don’t like him, so…

wah wah.

I have been saying this for fucking years that my step-mother-in-law’s fucking periods in text messages are passive-aggressive.

I listened to this, and I had all the same thoughts you had!

IMMA LET U FINISH ANGE, BUT FOR REALS BERNIE SANDERS WON THE READER’S POLL BY A LANDSLIDE AND IS WAY BETTER.

Can we stop talking about the individual Donald Trump, and the collective, frightening, lunacy of his supporters?

EXACTLY.

eh don’t be too harsh to your graduate student pals, depending on your field, they have probably been sold a raw deal.