How THE. FUCK. does a group of regular people shut down lanes on I45 without getting killed??? This makes no sense to me. I’m genuinely shocked that no one got run over. Make no mistake - cars are the higher life form in Houston; I think no other city defers to car traffic other than LA - so this just weirds the shit…

Clearly this guy is an idiot, but one of her favorite places is an interstate in Houston??? As a Texan I feel confident in saying NO ONE’S favorite place is an interstate in Houston. If my husband had told me that while we were dating it would have been a clear sign our relationship wasn’t meant to be.

Noooo he just, you know, is really busy with work. So he really needs some space but it’s just a break. Plus because his parents are divorced he’s kind of nervous about commitment and he just freaked out a little. But remember when he called last week wasted to come over at 4 am? He wouldn’t have called if he didnt…

ngl, I wish I were that dog.

The date Quentin Tarantino brought to his movie premiere was wayyyy more into Channing Tatum.

See, when I was a wee Bells I asked for “windsong perfume by prince machabelly” because the commercial played endlessly on TV. I was all of 6.

“the recent grad of Moody Bible Institute” is “serious about finding himself a woman,” but he’ll be keeping things PG until a special gal puts a ring on it. Renoe “says he’s still going to wait for his honeymoon to tear up his v-card.”

The Lillian Vernon catalog was, and still is, a catalog junkies heaven. I would look through the catalog for the hell of it, just to see what kind of ridiculous stuff I could get monogrammed. I admit to getting a kick out of the catalogs.

My fav:

I think this was a common problem. I remember after this one came out, they soon replaced her with Hollywood Hair Barbie. Basically the same thing, but instead of giving you a tube of gel, you could change the color of her hair. Less of a sticky, tragic mess.

Early 90s Barbie, you say? This shit was my JAM:

I remember a lot of weird 70s throwback recipes from my 1980s childhood. Canned spaghetti on toast anyone? Marachino cherry & cream cheese sandwich? Sex in a Pan? (actually the Sex in a Pan is amazing, not only for the sex puns)

I feel like Lover Town and Flavor Town are suburbs of the same terrible city.

You sue to get your nickel back.

Where is Lover Town and how do I avoid it forever?

I feel you Amy. Kenya Moore get mistaken for Beyonce all the time. It must be such a burden

In that case, the answer is clearly to wear one around the house while having breakfast in one’s pyjamas. I would.

I would wear that thing every goddamn day. She’s birthed a future king, it’s one of the perks of the job. Not wearing it is like not taking all your vacation days.

I got in a solid 30 seconds of “well helooooo, Tarzan” before the horrible niggling part of me wondered where Tarzan gets trousers.