In order to qualify for the coveted pink Taycan ”career car,” which comes with achieving Mary Kay’s “Grand Wizard Achiever” level of sales, rigorously indoctrinated consultants must each build a sales team of 65 or more members and net a minimum of $180,000 in product orders within 3 months (consultants can only…

Fun fact, boring story- back before Hulk Hogan and Peter Thiel, Gizmodo used to send like 14k visitors per month to the website of the company I worked for. The links came from an article where Gizmodo readers voted us third among our competitors. It was literally the top converting external link source for our…

So maybe you should ask Car and Driver to do a shootout between the Accord and Camry?

This was my favorite take:

I’d like to see the water toy collection too. 

No, but they do have a neon sign that reads, “50's Drive In.”

Ew, you summer in Florida? Who does that? Like, barf!

I think I’d rather just get a Slingshot if I wanted to be seen zipping around town in some kind of weird looking deathtrap.

My bad. That wrap’s got metal flake a like 1980s bass boat then.

This isn’t even a debate.

That paint job’s got metal flake like a 1980s bass boat.

If Papa can get away with this crap, why isn’t Domino’s pushing nachos through their pizza oven conveyor belts?

In 2009 I sat through an uninspiring seminar given by Blackberry’s VP of Marketing for North America. During Q&A, a woman held up her iPhone and asked, “What are you going to do about this?”

“Playbook” is still the best name for a tablet ever...so sad it was wasted on such a pathetic device.

So like, Domino’s is an OG ghost kitchen?

Exposure, sure. Validation? I’m struggling here. How is making fun of her for her beliefs validating her beliefs?

Been reading some Irving Stone recently, eh?

I’m sensitive to MSG, but I don’t consider it poisonous or dangerous. My mother-in-law used to cook the best tasting seasoned rice, but after eating it, I’d develop a absolutely piercing headache centered right behind my temples. I found out that she was putting six Knorr bullion cubes into each rice pot, and asked…

Late to the party, I know, I know. When I saw the dog with sunglasses on, I was like, “this has got to be an Andrew story.”

“Birds going batshit, and bats going apeshit.”