I’ve secretly wanted a third gen RAV4 with the 270 bhp V6, AWD, Sport Package, and third row folding seat.

I hate everything about Cheesecake Factory:

That would drive me nuts.

Personally, I don’t like matte paint. I like shiny cars better. Can someone explain the appeal to me?

I think I was ungreyed back when y’all were drawing up your own political cartoons. I loved those.

That was this guy? How is he still in office? Ohhhhh, riiiiiight. South Carolina.

Kneeling doesn’t incite violence- it just disrespects the troops!

And you forgot: 

Oh, I recognize his work. He’s the editor for all those NRA videos.

“Shiplap here, shiplap over here too, aaaaaaand we’re done!”

I only asked because his suggestion to read the conclusion of a book first was the formula for every Columbo story. In the opening act, you’d watch the criminal commit a crime, and then the rest of the story focused on Columbo figuring it out. 

Wow. I’m not a big fan, but Broadway, Hooptie, Got Back, and On the Glass are the only Mix-a-lot tracks I’ve ever heard.

It was such a nothing burger that only conservatives cared about it.

Was Hooptie on that same record? Mix-a-lot was all over the map.

And that’s when Kendall showed me how she flosses her vagina.

So your professor was a Columbo fan?

...and 30 years later her records still stand. She is still the fastest.

Mushroom appearance you say?

A defense of HOAs.