Scene- My bedroom, 2 AM, after a bottle and a half of wine.
Players (In a theatre sense, not like, a gross way to say ‘lovers’ or whatever)- My husband and also my me.

We were young, early 20’s, shitty on wine, having laugh sex, where we sort of clumsily bounced around the bedroom, laughing and not totally putting all…

THIS WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS AND HONESTLY PROBABLY TOP TEN ESSAYS I HAVE EVER READ ON THIS SITE I LEGIT CRIED LAUGHING

Found ‘em

Excuse you, but Dan is an artíste, and only does the classiest of tattos, such as bears smoking joints and a triple-scoop icecream cone with lightning bolts on a person’s cheek. A single word in elegant script on a neck is just gauche. I mean, she’d probably come to regret that neck tattoo of her child’s name,…

I’m still not over the sheer punchability of Justin Bieber’s stupid face. He hang out there much?

I feel that way about some people, too. We should form a club. That way, if I ever run in to Miles Teller, I can give him that message from you, and if you ever run in to Adam Levine, you can tell him for me. If the club got big enough, we would have enough operatives to reach all the truly terrible people with our…

Can we talk about the use of the word “hack”?

Drink heavily and yell at the sky.

I’m curious about others’ experiences with this, too.

Youngs, can you enlighten this Old with dick pic etiquette? Can you use the same dick pic repeatedly, or do you need to send a fresh one each time? Is it like “Daaaaaamn... She’s gonna like this one!” And comparable to having a good hair day? it’s not something I’m gonna do, just curious what you scamps are up to.

“Here is a spotify playlist. Also, my peen”

I totally get what you’re saying, but I kind of have to take her account of what was discussed at the shop with a grain of salt. Personally I stopped taking her seriously when she said:

Sony MDR-7506 kick these in the butt, last forever, and cost a fraction of the Bleats.

Hmmm. Seems like he respected her enough not to go forward with the tattoo. Not doing it cost him a potential client - I’m sure the decision wasn’t made rashly by the artist.

This is why I really hope I never get caught murdering anyone else.

What is the average time between when a guy gets to his hotel room on a business trip and when he starts jacking it?

Cheez-Its or Goldfish (cheddar), who you got?