FWIW, Wisconsin may have been ahead of the curve in hitting new lows in its elected leaders, but the rest of the country seems to have caught up.

Trump: You know, Luke was a terrible Jedi. That’s true. He didn’t complete his training with Yoda and got his hand chopped off by his dad. Sad. I’d never get my hand chopped off, and that has nothing to do with the size of my hands. My hands are actually huge. They’re luxurious. They’re the best hands.

Use clippers, not scissors, and do not just pull the pieces off the frame. In a pinch, nail clippers will do wonderfully, or an exacto knife if you’re careful.

Nonsense. It’s at least competently made. I know this is tough for a certain cross-section of the audience to admit, but the prequels have literally nothing going for them. They fail in every conceivable way.

How coincidental, Triple H will be our bond rating after the Trump Presidency.

You win just on the “What About Bob?” reference.

I feel like Dr. Leo Marvin. You think he’s gone?? HE’S NEVER GONE

$15000 times 135% (Trump’s proposed tariff) is $20,000. I’m not a senior economist, though, so maybe take a stab with your own calculator.

Nonstop ads on TV, radio, billboards, satellite radio, print, direct mail, skywriting, newspapers, telegraph, horseback, probably some others I’ve forgotten.

The good thing is they aren’t stuck with this failing business model for an entire season, they can choose a new one everyday!

I can’t remember the last time I heard an ad. I heard 50-60 a day this time last year.

There wasn’t a single eye roll, smirk, or cocked eyebrow.

My country is that of Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson. I make no judgement. I feel your pain, my US friends! 

I won’t go along with the circlejerk and I won’t shut up when people complain that I’m ruining their fun by caring about things like ‘facts’ and ‘what actually happened’, so obviously I must love Trump. Believe whatever you like.

It matters to me because it gives the other side ammo. If you stand by people you agree with just making shit up about your opponents, it proves you don’t really care about the truth or even the thing you’re angry at your opponent for - you’re just here to talk shit and feel good about yourself. Which I have no doubt…

It’s not like anyone is saying he doesn’t have the right to do it. It’s just that this is significant news. He’s trying to shape the political debate in this country in some way. That’s worth reporting on. And a lot of people are going to care.

The important thing is to take this article very seriously.

I was 12 when Episode IV Wars was released, and for my birthday that year, I got almost nothing but Star Wars figures because that’s all I wanted.

Wrong death star, your nerd cred is revoked.

Other than the language spoken and skin tone of his co-stars, what’s the difference between an Americanized Jackie Chan movie and a non-Americanzed (?) Jackie Chan movie?