Optical fiber? Make them into light sabers.

Somewhere, Nathan Peterman lets a single tear fall...

That ref is a couple of tint/saturation adjustments away from cosplaying Captain America.

In this case, “unsportsmanlike conduct” is cover for “Dude, we can’t afford to replace that ball, and we only have this stadium until 7pm!”

“Like the Weedwhacker Bowl, except professional.” — AAF elevator pitch

If the Army really wants to “tech stuff up”, wouldn’t they be better making hand grenades like Note 7s?

It’s pronounced Ke-veen, from the planet Ke-vos.

If You Don’t Love Bulbasaur, You May Not Have a Soul.

...my editorial fee is fairly modest.

Doubt this will get out of the greys, but here’s my recipe:

Playstation FOOOUUURRRR!

But when it gets to be 3 or 4, then it gets weird. 

i don’t get why people make such a fuss over unions. what two laborers do in their own homes is none of my business.

Shaggy, technically, transcends the human concept of time

I’m so sick of people calling our President, the most powerful man in the world, nothing but a two-bit sack of shit.

So we’ve seen “The Last” of “The First?”

Hey now, you’re a Brawl Star, get your game on, go play

Ooh, that looks bad, Rand. You Shouldice that.

Think he got that hernia from pulling them bootstraps too hard?

Sir, this is the Wendy’s drivethru, do you want a Frosty or not?