Except that, a porn actor is doing something the vast majority of our society would be incredibly ashamed of if their kid decided to embark on that career.

23 hours, catching 69 Pokémon, besting eight Gym Leaders, and beating the Elite Four

That is incomplete ass.  His tail isn’t connected.

Head over to Splinter. They cover the President all the time. 

Snagglepuss Cenobite: “WE HAVE SUCH SIGHTS TO SHOW YOU, EVEN”

Plan D is Cosby.

Ooh ooh, I know this one! It’s that game with the square made up of 9 squares made up of 9 squares, where each square gets filled with a digit, but you can’t have a digit repeat in the same sub-square or line, right?

or no ice cream and no espresso but a box of Cabernet

I yelled No Whammies No Whammies No Whammies STOP and bashed my keyboard.  

I wonder what kind of weird things he’s doing around the White House that they aren’t talking about

Hey! Ordering random, inappropriate shit from Amazon is *my* thing! He can't have it.

Michigan

But a forbidden sandwich just isn’t a forbidden sandwich without Miracle Whip.

Did I hear you say HL3 is confirmed for next year?

But where are the tacos. I need my tacos. I need them or I will explode. That happens to me sometimes.

MY TALLEST!

Obviously they used the Time Stone to save his life.