For all their inhumane and despicable actions, the NFL’s tribute to Mark Kelso was a nice touch.

Out of respect for Tim Tebow, the Philadelphia Eagles ask that NFL journalists refrain from prematurely reporting picks.

Are you suggesting that trading away Jared Dudley and picks to free up cap room to sign Spencer Hawes was a poor GM move? And trading for one’s son, who is BAD, is a poor GM move?

Help what? Your constant masturbating?

Because attractiveness is the key to good comedy?

Yes. That’s obviously the important thing to remember here.

If the Yankees are in need of any more of these sorts of press events, I hear Thurman Munson never officially retired either.

The great Bernie Williams had retired. We will all remember where we were the day we heard the news. The Bern, Big Bernie, Sweet Potato Pie, had finally hung up his cleats.

Look, I normally don’t hate on Kinja, but if you’re not going to use The Stacks for old articles like these, you’re just not following the rules, bro.

[reads story]

It’s been, what, seven years? And still, yet another new Brett Favre dick pic surfaces.

Good point, Greg.

From the sound, that’s one crunchy taco.

First Responder: Stay still, sir. I’m going to ask you a few questions.

He got his bell rung.

1. Being hit by a car

Why am I not surprised that Arizona still maintains a seating system based on color.

There once was a lifter named Tom
Who went at his task with aplomb
Took the bar off its pegs
And exploded his legs
And I still don’t give a shit about weightlifting

Which 5-Hour Energy flavor did he drink before this so I can know to avoid that one