Can we bring Nomar Garciaparra out of retirement just to fine him once or twice?

Because I know that someone in the comments will talk about how dangerous it is to be a police officer, just wanting to come home alive, etc.

It is more dangerous to be employed as a landscaper in America than it is to be employed as police officer. This is a fact that is true and is verifiable.

I have a feeling Deadspin won't be too broken up if you leave.

Yeah, it's true. Other than Hazard, fans of English soccer have never seen flair players with skill, creativity and "zigging". Apart from Henry and Bergkamp. And, you know, Cristiano Ronaldo and Ryan Giggs. Gianfranco Zola. Eric Cantona. Heck, Paul Gascoigne, John Barnes, Tony Currie, Matt Le Tissier, Steve McManaman.…

I agree that Hazard is a great player, and you note that his 'end product' is lacking, and kind of dismiss that point. But doesn't it matter a lot? When you look at similar players to Hazard, like Marco Reus, Franck Ribery, and Arjen Robben, they seem to have the same combination of high level passing/dribbling, but…

“Wait...you can trade players for...for HAM SANDWICHES?!?”

Seems more like spam.

This would have made for the most horrible episode of How I Met Your Mother.

He wasn't parked where this took place. Predatory tow truck drivers swoop in, pick cars up, then drive a block or two away before they fill out paper work and strap the car in. That's why he was able to floor it off of there and get away. He was parked in a Walgreens parking lot a block away and was still in the car…

I got towed once at a college apartment complex after I went through great measures to get a visitor pass. I called the tow company, asked them to look exactly where the pass was supposed to be, and lo and behold, it was there. They brought my car back right away and apologized. I was very polite and never raised my…

And with Transformer5, Michael Bay has become even lazier.

Can we move the Cardinals out of St. Louis too? Some suggested landing spots:

I used to shrug my shoulders at most speed runs, but have come to appreciate them more in the past couple of years. This is impressive as hell. I think it took me more than 18 minutes just to install the game to my XB360 HDD.

I really liked Fallout 3. Someone should make a sequal to that.

Yes.

Obligatory

from years of following their dad's teams, these girls have sure learned how to spot a rapist.