Ooooh, for me, slurpy kissing in movies and TV shows makes me RAGE. Totally understand the punching urge.

Lawyerette is my new favorite word. What do you think of for my costume - short pleated skirt? I'm 55, so can't be too cutesy.

YES! Also "the 10 people who bothered to call her back."

I've always coveted a Shonen Jump subscription. Covers a lot of bases.

If I were a teenager with a clear backpack, you can be damn sure I'd be packing a bunch of tampons in the very front pocket. Maybe a whole box.

Bread pudding with lots of real vanilla, cinnamon, raisins and too much sugar for normal people. Eaten warm straight from the pan.

YES! That godawful dusty blue! Dried stuff! And pictures of pairs of geese with twine around their necks. Holy crap, I'm having a shuddering flashback.

It does change, you young pup. I am here to assure you that I was a flaming, hating asshole in my late 20s and later mellowed. Compassion grows with age and experience. One realizes being mean has a ripple effect on the universe.

In a twisted way I enjoyed your story, although I have nothing but sympathy for you. This week I told my doctor I wanted off a medication that had sustained me while a close relative descended into dementia before he died. Told her it worked in the past, "but I'm not trapped any more!" then burst into tears. Finally…

TRUTH. Former northerner here and I find them as tasty as chopped drywall.

Bleak midwinter celebration? So I'm making the baby Jeebus cry when I fly to Arizona for the holidays?

I'm amazed that it's really, really good, and I'm kind of a picky bitch. I gleefully scarf down gluten, fat, sugar, meat, eggs, GMOs (I'm totes healthy, haters) and I'd actually buy this stuff.

Not trying to be dumb, but what kinds of problems? Not part of my world, so I'm curious.

I expect a return to the type of looney shitstorm that resulted in the Clinton impeachment, aka the Six Million Dollar Blow Job. Pretty fucking important now, huh, assholes?

Cheering for you! Glad you are doing well, which is the most important thing. Improving yourself is impossible when you're down. Keep your chin up. We love you.

AHA! Now I know the reason I was getting spongy chicken breasts at the supermarket. They were so off-putting I quit buying them, thinking that was some new industry thing and that I'd never have decent chicken again. Good to know.

I like this game! Could I go swimming? Could I wear a wig over my grease cap of hair? I agree this is important and it will take up much of my morning.

I'm on the fence with this one. I'm a fat girl and will own up to it, but I don't want to be the FAT=UGLY fat girl. I've felt ashamed all my life for my weight and won't do it any more. Plus I'm pretty cute.

So cute! Are they heavy? Because I love clogs but the weight of Danskos and others turn me off.

Straight out bragging here. I buy boxes of full size candy at Costco and give them all out. I live on a corner in a really nice house and light up the yard with inflatable ghosts and spiders and pumpkins so everyone knows there is candy here. Lots of kids get driven to the neighborhood (we see the cars) and I have a…