When you get it at Dairy Queen!

I am shocked, yes shocked, how much good steak or prime rib I can inhale. The last time I grilled steaks, I think I hoovered down about 24 ounces of rib-eye. AND I DON'T TRIM THE FAT.

"Hey! Guess what I had to eat today!"

Must be some kind of MORAL FAILURE. Because decent people never get ill, or get cancer, or crippling diseases. (Seriously, I do hope things get better and I send kind wishes your way. I've been at the bottom of the well myself.)

Don't forget being white and growing up in the correct places.

I transplanted into Texas from Iowa and LOVE "y'all." I graft my vowel-swallowing habit onto it, making it "yull," which is even better.

I was going to post a silly gif, but tears started streaming down my face. THANK YOU SO MUCH, JOE. Sometimes the years of war against women just fucking wears you down, so when you hear this so plainly by someone so amazing, it just blows you away.

Don't forget the tampon strings. Judging by the WTF-is-that example posted by Mark, industrial strength.

So, despite being still sometimes classified as wimmims trouble, we're still seeing a huge increase? Yikes.

Forgive my cynicism cranking up, but I suspect better diagnoses among younger women as at least part of the increase. I remember back in '60s and '70s hearing snarky remarks about women that today we would clearly recognize were suffering from depression and/or chronic pain and fatigue.

Chip dip, okay. But I always hear the word "dip" as the word for smokeless tobacco, aka snoose, aka obscene disgusting vomitous habit. Blarg.

Man, they're chewy, aren't they? And tasteless.

Don't forget the mini pad on the bottom of the tray.

I am so jealous that I was not invited since, um, you don't know me. I would have KILLED to go to this party and eat little sugar skulls in your honor. You two are sooooo cute.

It's 2014. Why the hell is this still an issue? Didn't we go through this crap in the 70s, when people had divorced parents? Was I so fucking revolutionary in the 80s to keep my real name upon marriage, aka my "maiden name" ? Don't women have their OWN NAMES yet? [screams, punches drywall]

WHAT? What....what could be wrong with them?

Go on....there have got to be some appalling stories.

I wish I wore button downs so I could spend $5 a week to look fantastic every day. Talk about bang for your buck.

The racist is not your best friend anymore. It is hard to face, but the fact that it bothers you means you are different in a very fundamental way. Over the years I've backed away from such friends, because I simply could not accept them in the way I lead my life.

I NEED THIS. The whole collection looks awesome. I've been size 10 to 18 and back and forth, along with birthing 3 babies, and I want to be able to buy something that doesn't make me feel bad about having a really crazy life.