Can we just kill this entire movie instead?

Kristen Wiig

No, it didn’t help my shitty sleeper either. She ate like a pig all day...and then sucked on boob all night. They will wake up for boobs just because they like them.

You only think you were sleeping. You can never trust your own perceptions.

Here’s the thing about all of the baby books out there: They’re mostly crap. Not that it’s all bad advice, but you are consuming advice about how to deal with a tiny person you haven’t even met yet. Your child may be a great sleeper and a terrible eater. They may get the worst diaper rash that only disposable diapers…

I have a 5:30am workout class.

It’s seriously disturbing the way good dystopian fiction grabs the worst of society and projects from it.

I find it head-slappingly frustrating that liberals are cunning enough to secure 3 million plus illegal votes in order to embarrass Cheetolini, but so stupid that we put them all in California instead of, say, Florida and Ohio and Pennsylvania so we could actually win the fucking thing.

This is insulting to children and babies.

Which is pretty funny, because the chances of having your kid abducted in the 70s and 80s are far higher than they have been for the last 20 years, but now people are so worked up that their kids can’t play outside without supervision.

I used walk home from elementary school in the late 80s.

Is this a well known case? I’ve never heard of it.

I didn’t know about it.

omg i miss like when shows used to do cross over episodes. i feel like that used to happen more often.

My wife consistently uses all of the wrong knives for all of the wrong uses. She is a monster. Really, using a boning knife for chopping celery?

I used to think this but the I realized you can’t get into a good cutting rhythm with a santoku like you can a french or american chef. You get that rocking motion going and you can dice for days.  

Swiss rolls are the perfect snack, except when a layer of chocolate sticks to the carboard. Which is every time. FIX THAT!

Chef knife can never be less than #1, but bread knife (at #11???) is essential for proper bread cutting.
Patience, a firm but non-crushing grip and the knife will do its job on the bread.
Cut tomatoes with a GD tomato slicer if you’re so worried about them.

If you want to get into it with me in the kitchen, start slicing…

Oh HELL no. Run.

Watched the first season twice, first alone then got my bf to watch it. The Nashville episode where they end up missing their flight cos he’s looking for BBQ sauce is something my boyfriend would do.