I’ll read it, but you can’t have the one about how Paul Rudd cursed the entire cast of Clueless in exchange for eternal youth (that’s my conspiracy theory) or the one about how Thomas the Tank Engine is libertarian propaganda (that’s just true.)

He said, Charles Manson is Definitely Guilty, But What If He Isn’t?

I honest to god think I should get a million dollars for every time I was kind enough to swallow a man’s semen.

Us IRL

“BUT THIS IS HOW MY GRANDPARENTS MET AND THEY’VE BEEN 2GETHER 4EVER”

Yo, I’m the big booty type, I like ‘em thick with their minds right....

If Oreo Thins were a commenter they’d ALWAYS be grey.

Twisting them burns that off.

Weakling! There is NEVER enough stuffing!

Tell us more about the fart diet!

I mean, I suppose it adds up quickly if you’re eating the whole bag in one sitting*.

ok the khloe question is legit

I have kable but I have never seen the show and even I know he is a krap head. Krist, it must now be impossible for anyone to eskape the klutches of the Jendashian empire.

I feel like cookie dough is objectively more delicious than cookies. I don’t even feel like this statement is an opinion. Like, cookies are weird and dumb and frequently gross, crumbly pieces of shit (and even at best, they’re just tolerable), while cookie dough is an extension of the joy of the universe.

Feeling devastated by how basic I am.

Still trying to figure out why you hate joy

Visualize whirled peas.

I missed this scandal. Is it somehow different from the fact that everything in Whole Foods is overpriced?

More realistic than Pennsatucky’s magical perfect teenage (?) boyfriend of respect and orgasms.