I think the rest of the Jalopnik staff should get worse haircuts as a form of solidarity.

Matt is insufferable. 

I do. Works good, some shows you wouldn’t expect on there like Wheeler Dealers, and worth the $ to me. 

Adult car beds already exist:

I don’t think a Pontiac will fit in the back.

Happened to my sister with her Tempo, went out of the mall to get something and couldn’t figure out who had put all their stuff in her car.

our 24 Hours of Lemons Sunbird goes through a set of front bearings a day

This sounds like an invitation to my personal hell.

That triangular shift gator really makes the shifter look more like a penis than usual. 

And the rear looks like a 2000's firebird

Oooh now I’m waiting for the HellGladiatorCat. 

At least he only shot himself out instead of shooting at something. 

Ha, no.

Hey there! Head of audience and social here. I can definitely confirm that we do not sell our email addresses to anyone (at this time, subject to change without notice); the only ads you’ll get are the small ads within the newsletter itself, but nothing else (for now but you’ve agreed to anything and everything when…

True, I have a friend with a Juke and was surprised to hear they have real trouble getting a car seat in and out of the back of it.

That’s uncanny. 

The car, for all intents and purposes, mobbed.

I was assuming that was a lawyer or other person in Elon’s entourage rather than a reporter. 

This hair plugged greasy car salesman looking bastard.

Man that reporter on the right looks sleazy as all hell.