You’re storing up good works in Heaven, mimicry.

“I had a couple rolls left already from the prior pack.”

Office Depot still has TP and cleaning supplies. As of the day before yesterday, 5 Below had hand sanitizer! (at least around here.)

Aaand paper napkins have their Moment!

Cooking for elderly neighbors? Bleed you! I do some of that at the food pantry where I volunteer.

If you decide you don’t want the Polar, invite me over, Megan. I’ll drink. I’ll also show you to gently roast a calabeza until it is juuust caramalized.

DA Lacey is also a coward. She’s had the Danny Masterson rape case for three years and not prosecuted it. Why? She told aides she wasn’t going to take on $cientology. 

Ding-ding-ding!

The butler will poison the parents; their murders won’t be “brutal.” Did Agatha Christie live in vain?

Be optimistic. I’m sure she’ll have MI6 “take care of him.” Probably everyone in the 00 section will volunteer.

Can we agree that “Time to look after Daddy” is the creepiest thing we’ve heard in years?

Mess with Medicare = No Re-Election. He doesn’t have time to do much to entitlements, with less than a year left in his Presidency, and Congress won’t allow it, not with many Senators trying to re-up.

No, hadn’t you heard? Drumpf is slack in’.

I live in Tallahassee. According to the rumor, the cops didn’t want to be responsible for stranding his passengers. They planned to pick him up later. Perry is less than an hour away.

You bean saving that, knot sew?

God, I hope not. A tipsy pilot is the WORST. My Dad was a pilot, and he used to talk about the weird things pilots do to blow off steam, when most guy would be tippin’ back.

At least he retained enough pilot’s ethics to recognize he wasn’t fit to fly.

I live in Tallahassee. The rumor I heard was that the cops were going to let him go so his passengers wouldn’t be stranded. They planned to pick hip up at home. Perry’s 50 minutes away. Also, he wasn’t charged with doing $200 of damage. He was charged with doing MORE than $200 worth. $200 is some kind of legal cutoff.

“Never been to Spain” - but he kind of like’s the music, right?

She is obviously not dressed for a festival. Duh, she’s dressed for Flamenco School Graduation Day.