Just gonna put it out there that “Popeye” in William Faulkner’s SANCTUARY abducted a young woman and raped her with a corncob. Then he got hanged for the one murder he DIDN’T commit.

“Can’t sleep. Customers will eat me.”

Yes! Shack tamales are the best tamales.

I bet you saw the Avengers movies on the Thursday after.

Oh, I think it is. Trump is the very definition of “testosterone poisoning.”

Man, the testosterone just trails him like a CLOUD!

“Omar cannot walk ten feet in US politics without attacks from the right.”

Hey, Detritus, long time no see! How’s Ruby?

King: “The camps weren’t that bad. Everybody got to smoke a little Pol Pot now and then.” [Winks and bursts out laughing]

“With luck, Stephens will swear off anything having to do with the internet and only communicate via linotype or fountain pen.”

I didn’t know dude nudes was a thing (other than dick shots, I mean).

Joe Biden is that guy who had to do three extra-credit projects to get a B-.

Oh, it’s illegal all right, but it’s no 0-Day Exploit, now is it?

My local hospital is set to lose big time.

“Even with state incentives, they just shelled out a ton of cash for new offices Houston. Which is incredibly stupid.”

Executives and the smart vencaps who sold out quick. They make (made) money. Everybody else is taking a bath (and not the kind with “beautiful Australian actress Margo Robie”*).

Damn, shorting Uber is the new “I bought Xerox at $5.”

My last Uber driver seemed offended that I started to sit on the back.

Well, of course Ubyft* is taking more from the drivers! What other behavior would you expect from a company that just went public while losing over a billion dollars every quarter (real cash, not just accounting charges)?

Can you blame her for wanting a man who can “be best”?