Juan Candle Wick

This was either a political assassination by people angry that Ortiz doesn’t support them, a shakedown he didn’t pay or maybe the TV guy was the intended target. 

I have a Boston!

I don’t wanna see Hope Hicks innards. I can barely tolerate her exterior.

Every time someone mouths off about “The Gay Agenda,” I ask them how they got on the distribution list.

YOU ARE FUN AT PARTIES BECAUSE YOU BRING BROWN LIQUOR AND CHEETOS.

That would be The Saints, Of New Orleans.

Every mediocre artist deserves $15,000 from InfoWars.*

Tasers. The moderators will have Tasers, and maybe tear gas.

The bow tie. No drag queen in history was that bad at styling.

Those debates will be sooooo boring, I am pre-emptively falling asleep.

Makes sense. The VC won Viet Nam.

Between Vulture Capitalists and Gun Nuts I pick ... aliens. Yep, aliens.

And his nuclear football code is ABCDE.

“Do it or else!”

LANDLORD: Shouldn’t you have a warrant?

Speaking as a retired social worker with some mental health experience ... some of your memory problems might be the meds you take/have taken. The 1970’s practice of medicating people with epilepsy hard enough for zero seizures (because only passing for non-disabled was acceptable) basically burned out my sister’s…

I’m sorry I came to this piece so late, because I identify with it SO MUCH. I’m not bipolar, but I am a lawn mower engine (two strokes).

So we remove Trump from office ... Pence is just as bad, but more subtle. He’ll play he sympathy card with his base and they’ll re-elect him.

Rihanna’s character in the animated movie HOME was somewhat autobiographical - she talks about the difficulty of moving from “the island” to the U.S., and how hard it was to fit in at first.