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Kale him? It damn near rectum...

Ruth cheated by only having to hit against white guys.

Hey, you an people like you in this thread! I also have GIS skillz. If you have GIS skillz and any kind of training in statistics and can use Excel/Access, you might want to look into becoming a Crime Analyst. That is what I do and it's basically 50% math and 50% making maps in Arc/GoogleEarth, and you get to read…

I'm gonna launch a preemptive strike on any people objecting to this comment in much the same way that GWB launched a preemptive strike on Iraq:

Or maybe David Ortiz is an 18 year vet with 3 rings, and Archer and Price can shut the fuck up. None of this happens if they don't give up home runs.

I never saw Jim Abbott fist pump either.

But it's a dunk contest. They're dunking, not fundamental-ing.

I know the anti-jezezies are not going to like this, but when is MLB going to wise up? This is why they should not sell beer to men at sporting events. Or something. Fuck, I hate some of you people.

My niece drew a picture of her dog "playing" with the dog next door in school. And that's how the whole world found out that loveable family pet Otis really forcibly orally sodomized other animals in his free time.

Parents Night is dreadful. Last year I was singled out by a teacher in a room full of judgmental parents because my 3rd grader, for the "art show", drew a picture of a chicken giving a horse a hand-job. Seriously. I have the photo prove it if you provide me with an e-mail to send it. When I got home, I feared…

oh stfu these fuckers dressing up like stock brokers makes your sports news so much more reputable

John Clayton rocked the "we need a quick segment on short notice" better -

Do not connect Beiber to The Dude in anyway bro!

he looks like they pulled him off a pontoon boat after 8 beers and 4 hours. he's burned, he's greasy his eyes are bloodshot and the stubble. I'd swear 15 minutes ago he was floating down a creek in an inner tube.

LeBron vs Larry Bird is a fascinating comparison:

Bath police is what my uncle used to call it :(