Awesome.

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Listen, buddy. There are some things you don't joke about. One of them is the quality of east coast wines. I'll have you know that [10 pages of indecipherable bullshit] and I hope you choke on it, asshole.

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What does Zimmerman have to be mad about? PECOTA pegged him for a .285/.350/.473 line last year; he hit .282/.346/.478. Maybe he's mad that the computers can't forecast a complete inability to throw reliably to first?

It was horsemeat, and it was like 6 months ago. Let it go already.

Things like this make you miss baseball in the 90s, when the worst philosophical battle anyone ever faced due to a one-liner was Darryl Strawberry debating having a second-liner during the seventh-inning stretch.

Franklin Gutierrez just added a zero to his next contract total.

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I've had the same thing happen before. Dreamed I did something shitty to my SO and apologized for DAYS afterward for being such a jackass in my subconsciousness. Human beings are fuckin weird, and we should all be locked away for our own health.

Reminds me of the time my buddy's girlfriend got furious with him after watching a video of him banging her sister. I don't know why she was so upset... it was just a movie.

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By word games, do you mean charades? Because I don't buy for a second that you can play charades on a balog. What the hell's wrong with the world? Charades on a weblog? You insolent commenting people.

Fantastic read, Albert. I used to eat tons of pimento cheese sandwiches as a kid until I got fucking sick of them. Might be about time for me to make some homemade stuff and wean myself back on.

De nada. That was just an overall surreal story, especially for a guy who by all rights should be staying far, far away from mischief.

He took back some of his old memorabilia at gunpoint.