joshua-s-sweeney
Body By Bacardi
joshua-s-sweeney

Disregarding animal-friendly cervices is a good way to end up in

I had a dream that I was teaching Kaley Cuoco how to play the ukulele in exchange for sex. I slept through the first few minutes of work.

Hate reading is basically the only reason any of the commenter communities on the various Gawker sites even interact with each other.

ESPN really needs to be more careful. The last time a white guy was replaced with someone of mixed ethnicity, the world was introduced to Sarah Palin.

She made him flannel pajamas with cowboy boots on them for Christmas.

Wonderful

He asked me what position I played and I told him I played quarterback because that was really the only position I'd heard of.

I saw a huge, erect bat dick pointing right up at me.

Now playing

Happy Australian Day. Here's some Australian comedy.

taste the fucking thunder

Super Bowl or bust?

+1

No, but that's because I refuse to set foot in an Apple store.

(5 minutes prior)

Sorry, Orlando. You're not going to win any awards playing a man short, at least unless your name is Peter Dinklage.

Nice.

Oh absolutely. Compare Everything's Eventual to Night Shift. The latter is 100 times better.

Stephen King's short works (and his books, too, I guess) are either utterly engrossing or completely uninspired, probably depending on whether or not he's trying to keep a deadline.

Can't pick an individual story, but the collection "The Female of the Species" by Joyce Carol Oates is mindblowing. Just short story after short story that will make you fear and respect women, mostly because they're all psychotic and/or psychopathic and will suspend you from hooks in their closets in these stories.

+1