I feel like you want this movie to go in One Direction but honestly it’s going in another.

Flawleth? I don’t think tho! ;)

fuck off

So you’re asking “Why didn’t they make a completely different show?”

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess....I meant....as a Ken I always get called Lauren....ahem...

So, there’s this trope that all the pregnant ladies have hot celeb sex dreams. My online co-gestators were always mentioning their sleepytime sexytimes with Clooney and Pitt and the like, and I was moderately annoyed that I only dreamed about anthropomorphic food and household appliances in between grumpy repositions…

Alex Trebek. We were going to town, sweaty and frantic and he kept yelling, “Who is....your daddy?” over and over again like they phrase it on Jeopardy. Suddenly he pulled out and I was standing naked in front of the studio audience, crying.

+1 Ween

There’s many colors in the white man rainbow,
Don’t be afraid to let you color shiiiiiiiine!

“These debate nazis were worse than slavery. I’m gonna stab them in the belt buckle. Tithes!” - Carson

Ellie what about this look???

They never took a doggie bag home and they never touched Golem Jesus’s meal.

My dad was a pretty serious LOTR nerd before it was cool, i.e. before the movies came out. He read all the appendices and books by Tolkien’s son annotating his father’s notes and books about the linguistics and collections of artwork about Middle Earth. Two of these artists were particularly considered to be experts,…

Remember, it’s always the parents’ choice. Their freedom to choose is tantamount. The government should never control that important right to the plans you have for your family. Your “family planning,” if you will.

These are men whose main fantasy is some form of intimacy with a female that is OUTSIDE their ability to woo. The more old/ugly/unwanted they become, the more rewarding it is for them to steal a vision of intimacy that they know is out of their own league.

67 miles per hour in the left lane, which is acceptable in some circumstances, but not these. In these circumstances, the speed limit was 65 miles per hour, there weren’t any cars around us, and I was a faster vehicle approaching from behind.

This is the longest “WAHHHHHHHHHH” I’ve ever read.

I think that you probably just did more to reinforce why people think 'snobby' wine people are insufferable, than you did to refute it.

So basically both Divas did what they do best:

IBM’s computer thinks in chocolate and vanilla. Sometimes what it knows is chocolate, sometimes it’s vanilla, sometimes it’s a swirl. Sometimes, though, the swirl melts; then you have to decide if there was more chocolate or more vanilla in that puddle. IBM just hired a fat kid that can tell the difference.