• Polly Prostitute

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."

Diane also goes around the country throwing temper tantrums when men try and open the door for her. She has abortions at eight months and three weeks. And she files false rape complaints by the score.

Fan Mail more like Man Fail!

You are. The only person. The single one ever. The lone JLaw hater.

Only because she's burned me romantically.

Just like that you had to say Corgipocalypse. Now someone from SyFy is going to find this and it's a month of Corgipocalypse, Corginado, Megacorgi vs. Sharktopus, Corgisaurus, Hell Corgi: The Uncorgiven, Dwight D. Eisenhower vs. Mummy Corgis, Corgipocalypse 2: The Corginning...

Apparently, at one point I told my husband (then boyfriend)

"We have so many gold watches."
"What?"
"No! For the AUCTION."
"You're dreaming. This is hilarious."
"NO! I'm not dreaming! I'm totally lucid! I'm going to bite you."

I was just watching a documentary on the chimpanzee. I enjoyed watching the part where mumma chimpanzee put the placenta in a waterproof bag and then blogged about it. AHH NATURE.

Rural Colombian men? Probably.

Wow check your "I'm capable of baking cakes that don't taste like vaginas" privilege.

I swear, this is so true. Our kitty used to sit in the middle of our Border Collie's bed and you could totally understand their conversation about it. He was 15 years old and really needed his cushy bed under those old bones; he'd look at her, pleading with his big brown eyes, put one paw on the edge of the bed very…

I guess bear penis bones also ruined the Star Trek franchise.

There's more than one way to eat a rhesus.

Don't do it in Florida, though.

Mmm... half-baked arguments...

I DON'T EVEN CARE IF THIS IS REAL.

Oh God, the Ambien dreams. I don't take that shit anymore for a reason. I woke up one night, inconsolable because I thought the lamps in our bedroom were fighting. I don't remember any of this, but apparently I was SO upset. "Why can't you just get along!!?" I screamed at the floor and desk lamps.

How many of the women taking the pills have no problem sleeping but simply have an Ambien fetish?