Ah, I usually do that when I tell this story in person, because it’s very hard to describe. Imagine hair of uniform 1 inch legnth, perfectly straight, bunched into patches about .5 inch by .5 inch, pulled tightly up into little mountains, and then the peak of each mountain curled backwards uniformly into little…

I saw a woman change her tampon on the Paris subway.

I saw a guy eating bits of his peeling sunburn on the El in Chicago, and watched some bro - who was totally rolling - eat some of his boogers and smear the rest on the windows of a train into Queens.

(Not the best post to read during my coffee-and-bagel break.)

My mom clapped along and was impressed by Showtime dancers.

I can’t stop laughing. That last sentence. Golden.

Chicago Blue Line: Watched a homeless gentleman stand up, drop trou, (essentially) vomit with his asshole, sit down in the pile of liquid, and then start scooting himself down the center of the train- kind of like the way a dog wipes their ass on carpet? I think he was singing too? While that was happening a woman…

I posted this before under a different username in a similar thread on Jezebel, but I’ll leave it here as well:

On Long Island Railroad trains, there is a bathroom in every other car. Without fail, each and every one of this bathrooms has a river of pisswater flowing out from under the door. I don’t know why, but it’s always there.

My time to shine!

This is a heard story, not a saw, so please don’t kill me. It is the most disgusting thing that I’ve ever encountered on transit, though. I was on the #6 Bus in Chicago, travelling south to my work-study job at a youth center on 76th Street. The bus turns left at 67th street, and it was then that a man got on.

Los Angeles Circa 2002. My car was in the shop and I thought I would be adventurous and take the bus down Sunset from my apt in Silverlake to work in Hollywood. That was the last time I rode a bus for 5 years because I saw a bum piss in a empty water bottle, then take a sip of it.

About 10 years ago I was uptown waiting for a train, when a homeless man spotted me and started saying “Hey, n****r boy! Where you going n****r boy???” over and over again. After a while I decided to put my headphones on to try to ignore him, and that proved to be a huge mistake. If I’d been paying closer attention, I…

True depiction of commuting in London

Taking a 6 train to a meeting in the Bronx, a blind man in headphones got on and started singing loudly and dancing while holding the pole. A minute into his groove, he dips down and licks the pole, slowly standing up while licking the pole the entire way up. I always wondered if pole licking was what made him go…

Guy in the other car is enjoying a beej

SF Muni: I saw a woman unknowingly sit on human feces smeared across a plastic seat.

Dead guy with a half-eaten McDonalds burger next to him on an RER commuter train to Versailles, France. We were wondering why the entire train car was empty when we walked past him. All I remember is seeing that his hands were purple. We freaked out and got the hell out of there.

A guy peed in a big gulp cup right next to me in a packed metro in DC. Also, in New York, a guy rocked a brand new sleeve tattoo that was seeping puss, blood, or ink. I am not sure what goes into tattooing, but it was leaking onto the ground.

Beyond poop and masturbation, for some reason watching an infant being fed Doritos at 6am sort of gets to me in this special way.