This is the face of someone who has no idea she’ll look like Amy Sedaris in twenty years.

This is the face of a man who fap-fap-faps to Mick Jagger pictures.

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Dickheads? Reading the NY Times? I am shocked.

Heartbreaking. Just emailed all my elected officials, plus my girl HRC.

Seems like I’m speaking for myself and at least 208 Jez readers and counting at this point.

HUGE ups on this headline, Mark.

Why can’t you be more like your brother Emilio, Carlos???

And the cities of Orange County rejoiced!!!

Exactly.

Exactly! He’s no Magic Johnson.

Maybe the Biebz just thinks Charlie Sheen is a dick (like the rest of us), regardless of status.

Don’t forget Massachusetts!

This Vicki Larson character sounds like a real wet blanket.

So per usual, Anonymous is wicked rude.

Jezebel is clearly just 1000 monkeys on 1000 typewriters trying to write Hamlet.