We have a lot of good friends in common, and sadly, I knew he hadn’t forgotten about me—case in point, the new song about an OLD relationship.

I really didn’t know what to expect from The Ex—we haven’t been on speaking terms for a long time. Regardless, I felt he had to know and sent him a chipper Facebook message about it. Narcissist that he is and has always been, he wrote back something along the lines of “Congratulations on your engagement, my girlfriend…

I competed at the regional level and LOVED it. I wonder if my parents still have my Paideia floating around somewhere.

whose tiny children are these?

can’t possibly be bothered to read to the bottom and see where the original post is referenced, right?

you have changed my life for the better with this knowledge. bless you.

there really is no accounting for taste.

YOU’RE TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD MBJ

the lice hate the sugar.

Now there are other, less (consistently) rapey options like Lyft and Sidecar.

Kris Jenner’s Weepy Response to Bruce’s Transition Was Totally Staged

He did everything right! His whole life! He held the doors for girls, listened to them while they cried about other guys, and lived in the friendzone all the time! THIS WAS THE LAST STRAW.
-future attorney’s argument.

TNR FTW!

NO KITTEHS NOOOOOOO

“Well, we got suspicious when we realized he was going through 2-3 boxes of Kleenex per shift but not requesting any sick time...”

the og dgaf

where can i purchase a sleeping bag caftan??

“I love you, son.”

None for you children! Don’t you dare enjoy this PG-13 movie!