He clearly didn’t get his scout badge in swimming.

I was kinda hoping swimming pool was a euphemism for something.

I know a lot of you kids are too young to remember this, but Take That Cuba was the original name for Menudo.

A man after my own heart [disease]!

Well you ruined nothing for me except, damn it, now I want Twinkies AND Xanax.

I wouldn’t know from the yellow Xanax. Take me straight to the greens!

Well I hope you’re happy. You’ve ruined Twinkies for me.

I was just going to suggest a machine gun.

Technically, they already are. Fire operations like this trigger a TFR (Temporary Flight Restriction) from the FAA, which looks like this: http://tfr.faa.gov/save_pages/det…

I don’t think you understand what an EMP is.

To be fair, maybe they should be banned within a certain range of firefighters trying to you know, do important things. Cameras are good enough to where you don’t need to chase helicopters around to get a good shot of things.

Choosing between the patriarchy and losing their blogging gig, and therefore their Brooklyn apartment, they find themselves, suddenly, very flexible.

Choosing between the patriarchy and losing their blogging gig, and therefore their Brooklyn apartment, they find…

Yes, and it would be nice if they weren’t a dapper Dan man.

Yes, and it would be nice if they weren’t a dapper Dan man.

I mean, I guess I’m a cynic because the only thing that shocked me was the fact that so many people seemed to believe the sincerity they preached about tolerance.

I mean, I guess I’m a cynic because the only thing that shocked me was the fact that so many people seemed to…

I notice you didn’t list any morals or decency. Gawker Media seems to be out of that lately.

I notice you didn’t list any morals or decency. Gawker Media seems to be out of that lately.

I think this falls under Fair Use because it’s parody.

It’s pretty impressive how she’s tanked her entire career in one tweet. It’s not like the sort of people who read her work have short memories.

Jidenna also has the support of supreme goddess Janelle Monae and appeared in her “Yoga” video, but I guess that’s not important.

You say “lol,” I say the very first image shows him in a beautiful club collar, which would have been unknown in slave-owning America, a fact which one doesn’t even need to be very good at Google to figure out.

No, he doesn’t. He dresses like an Edwardian which is decades AFTER slavery was abolished.