My wife and I still ask each other “Are you Sammi and Ronnie done, or done-done?”

Gronk is so confusing to me. He’s a Patriot and a bro, but I can’t help but enjoy everything about him.

It’s the little giggle at the end that makes it, like a kid caught peeking at his Christmas stocking a week early.

Born in’67, so David was too old, but Shaun Cassidy was just the perfect age.

In 1989, my godmother was taking a shower, when she looked up and saw a huntsman spider roughly the size of a dinner plate right above her head. She thought, ‘no worries, I will just calmly and quietly finish up this shower before he has a chance to move.’ Right at that moment, the Newcastle earthquake stuck, rattling…

He was absolutely acting like a jerk in that pic, as SNL said this weekend, like he’s in junior high, but he did not ‘grab her breasts thru a kevlar vest’. It’s all terrible, no need to exaggerate it.

2005 realness in Des Moines, Iowa

I’ve worked on behalf of many women that survived or were working hard to survive domestic violence. It really, really worries me that Mel B dissolved the restraining order against her husband. Really worries me.

Ding ding ding, we have a winner folks. I guarantee you there was infidelity involved. Tree trimmings aren’t “tackled out of nowhere” worthy. Coming home to seeing the smug asshole that fucked your wife? Yeah, that’s worth a six-rib breaking tackle.

“a very regrettable dispute between two neighbors over a matter that most people would regard as trivial,”

My guess is this: They had a fight about something — anything — and both guys have plausible arguments that the other guy started it or touched him first. Paul gets beaten up badly and is embarrassed, but frames it as an attack and hopes it goes away. But when it turns out that his injuries are pretty severe and that…

I think we can all agree that this is probably the least surprising of all of the recent revelations.

“...improv-based free-range comedy troupe.”

Easy there Guffman

The Packers will lose this on appeal. Everyone knew about his big mouth, you can’t just pretend you’re just now learning of it.

Lake Independence? Everyone knows that Lake Minnetonka is where the real fun is.

This is basically how Columbo solved every crime.

Uh... she didn’t deflate his kayak. The kayak was not the inflatable type:

Serious answer? His presence would be too disruptive to the parties; particularly with the Secret Service and all the looky loos.