The story’s author takes us into the living room of Johnstown resident Pam Schilling, a 60-year-old retiree who is already keyed up to vote for Trump in 2020:

OK, so why say that an not elaborate?

Some of mine are actually the ones my mom used when I was young - they are beat up and dented, but they still work!

Ex-votos are a way to say thank you to a saint or divinity.

My SIL sells this garbage. My wife and I refer to it as “clothes for the suburban mom who has given up.”

This is true, but might I also recommend the help of the delightful pie bird in preventing soggy bottoms?

How is Perez Hilton still a thing? I haven’t given this asshole a thought in ten years. Has anybody?

I remember I started crying.

Who else is having flashbacks to last election when we were all in the comments like “wtffffffff”

As a survivor of the Great Ponderosa Massacre of 1997, wherein the buffet where I worked discontinued free coffee for senior citizens, I wholeheartedly endorse this as the truth. Apparently, charging 50 cents for a bottomless cup of coffee is one bridge too far and entitles you to fling a full coffee cup at your…

Loss aversion. It will be a rough transition, but things are bound to get easier once we get them used to it. People eventually get used to anything. No way out but through.

“Come on guys”

also fuck 1980's billy joel doo-wop #catalinawinemixer

Thank you. I can never EVER hear someone say “lover” and not think of that sketch.

“I’m laughing with my lover, making forts under covers.”

Brawling at kicking out time is normal in Britain, the only exceptional feature is that 30 people managed to involve themselves in a single fight.

“.....being aggressively British.” That is hilarious and perked my afternoon right up. The next time my husband gets himself wound up about something, I’m going to tell him he’s being aggressively British.

Yeah, because people with nothing to hide destroy cell phones ALL the time. Although, I guess it is part of his training regimen to sleep in a ‘room uncontaminated by either technology or pet dander’, so he destroyed the cell phone because it was contaminating his sleep environment.

“goes solo with a jar of coconut oil he applies himself and a TB12 “vibrating sphere.””

I will defend Brady everytime against accusations of cheating, which are BS. But this TB12 stuff is snake oil and stealing from gullible idiots. I’m not sure if he is a victim or a perpetrator, much like Tom Cruise and Scientology it’s hard to know which he is, but selling this crap and making these claims is wrong.