I think they should all boycott the briefings.

I don’t know why anyone’s surprised—this was the purpose of the whole campaign as far as Trump is concerned. He has been very open about the fact that he planned to take political donations and launder them through his campaign by using vendors owned by the Trump Organization in order to make a profit, and it’s not…

No question, I think that gently encouraging people to eat healthier is a good thing. But we both know that when someone cracks out the “your palate is uneducated”, that’s not what they’re talking about. :)

In fairness, he’s an asshole no matter what. Even if all you do eat is chicken fingers and cheese pizza, so the fuck what? It’s your mouth and your body and you should never have to apologize for liking the things you like.

I kind of thought of it more as “...maybe this isn’t the time to bring up the reboots where we boned?”

See, that’s what makes me such a visionary--I invert the tropes of the genre, and then I invert them again! It’s that kind of 360-degree twist that keeps me in my lucrative job with Blumhouse!

It wouldn’t even take much of a rebranding to turn it into a haunted house at Halloween!

4. Nobody ever mentions the rape story, ever again.

In a bizarre coincidence, I’ve just started my new business, “Dickies and Snoods”, an exotic pet breeder that specializes in incontinent pigeons with hormone disorders. They start at $8000, no dirty poors please.

I may be wrong, but I keep getting the profound impression that nobody wants to topple May because whoever’s in charge when the Brexit deal finalizes will be the one blamed for it, and there’s simply no way for it to avoid being a shit deal because it was a terrible fucking idea from start to finish. She is…

Knowing Mueller, it actually happened a month ago and he just sealed it.

No, they like you. But a cat’s display of “like” is very different from a dog’s. If a cat sits with its back to you, for example, it’s saying, “Hey, man. Even though you’re a lot bigger than me and I can tell from your stereoscopic vision that you’re a predator, I trust you.” That’s a very loving gesture from an…

There’s no rake that would consent.

I’ve been a fan of Joe Bob Briggs and MST for about the same amount of time, but... my heart will always be with the Turkey Day Marathon. It’s just who I am.

He looks like the kind of guy you’d cast as a crooked politician in a direct-to-video thriller. Like the fourth, or maybe fifth Triple-X movie. The one where they couldn’t get Vin Diesel or Ice Cube, so they settled for Sticky Fingaz.

But there’s a really good answer for why you would program a droid to feel pain. It’s the same reason animals feel pain. If we didn’t feel pain, we would keep doing things that damaged us. A droid that has the ability to know when it’s walking on a surface hot enough to melt metal? Very useful. A droid that has the…

So to sum up the racist’s understanding here:

Just be careful to do it in a well-ventilated area. We’d hate to see you disinfect that funky mattress ‘til you die.

“Maybe its biological”

The response to “I turned out OK” is always the same, though. Can you point to the person you would have been if you’d been parented differently?