johnseavey
johnseavey
1/12/20
10:35 AM
5

The solution is, of course, leaving self-important comments on someone’s blog post. Thank God we have you to show us the way.

1/1/20
12:40 PM
6

I think the reason people don’t like the sequel is because the first one had a happy ending, and the second one starts by tearing it up. And I’m not saying that’s a bad thing to do; sometimes yes, businesses fail and people are scapegoated for shit they didn’t do and relationships and friendships fall apart. But it’s Read more

11/29/19
11:00 AM
3

I’m willing to make something of a defense of most of the Elm Street movies as succeeding on their own terms (except 5, which was hot garbage and knew it) but frankly, if hating on them gets us a Mike Flanagan Freddy flick, then they all sucked and should be fed into a wood chipper. :)

11/29/19
10:58 AM
7

I think it’s a little of both—he was never a very actor-focused director, which is why even in the original trilogy, there are a lot of inconsistent performances (Harrison Ford has clearly decided what he wants to do and is doing it, while Mark and Carrie are both struggling a bit at times to find their character). Read more

11/17/19
3:13 PM
3

It’s not that she can’t handle it, it’s that she handles it by strictly categorizing it. I’m sure one of her favorite pastimes is totaling up the points for the fictional characters in the shows she watches, figuring out which of the only two boxes in existence to put them in once they’ve finished doing all that Read more

11/17/19
3:00 PM
1

As always, Terry Pratchett has the perfect line for it: “She held up a mirror to Life, and then chopped off all the bits of Life that didn’t fit.”

11/15/19
1:24 PM
16

You have to remember that Donald Trump’s only abiding philosophy is, “Fuck you, sucker, I got mine.” He’s not going to risk cramping his precious tiny fingers writing out a pardon for someone who isn’t useful to him anymore.

11/15/19
11:07 AM
37

They don’t care anymore. They know that everyone inside the bubble will believe any bullshit they yammer out, and everyone outside the bubble is onto them, so why take the extra time and effort to craft plausible lies? Just say “fake news, Soros, lizard people lizard people lizard people” and move on to the next grift.

11/14/19
6:18 PM
17

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure the majority of these judges’ “lifetime appointments” will be cut short by their arrest, conviction, and impeachment on corruption charges. The problem with filling positions with utter scum is that they don’t have the same charmed life that their scumbag leader Read more

11/14/19
6:15 PM
1

Oh, I love Donny Osmond. I remember seeing him live in ‘Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat’, back in the 90s, and he really blew the doors off of those songs. But Gladys Knight is on a whole other level even from that.

11/14/19
3:47 PM
6

In fairness, the first season they had Gladys Fucking Knight on there, which... respect is due, is all I’m saying. I think the rule seems to be that the older the singer is under the mask, the more likely it is that they’re a legit legend trying to show that they’ve still got the chops.

11/14/19
3:42 PM
Save

I was so disappointed by the adaptation of The Scorpion King. Where were his seven sons? Where was the contest for the crown? When did he break all seven of his teeth on the rubies they gave him? It was so, so... Read more

11/14/19
3:39 PM
6

I want this, and I want every episode to include Pike ripping some piece of TNG-era out of his ship because he thinks it messes with the low-fidelity charm of the vessels he grew up with. Read more

11/14/19
12:53 PM
20

“[Rich person] would be better off not trying to take personal control of a process they know very little about just because they love using their money to buy power” is one of those truisms that rich people never listen to.

11/14/19
11:24 AM
121

Frankly, I think scaring the piss out of multi-billionaires should be a fucking prerequisite for office.

11/14/19
11:22 AM
3

There are some I can’t really get into, but “Starcrash”, “Avalanche”, and “Carnival Magic” are pretty regular in my rotation. I’m really hoping to hear a formal renewal for Season Thirteeen at the end of the marathon.

11/14/19
11:18 AM
1

Of course, in the case of Lucas, they’re at least his ideas.