You have chosen two extraordinarily bad examples. Dumbledore’s homosexuality was key to understanding why he’d kept so many secrets about Grindelwald, even though he knew that Voldemort was obsessed with obtaining the same powerful magical artifacts that Grindelwald was and even though it turned out to be vital to the…

It’s a rock fucking stupid exaggeration. The story would literally make more sense if Dread Overlord Zarg of the Cosmic Dillweeds teleported Gotham to Planet X. At least then you wouldn’t have to come up with constant, idiotic rationalizations for why the Flash and Superman don’t just literally rebuild all of Gotham’s…

Because nobody can make that call except Trump until the vote, and Trump has decided for some reason that it might be a bad look for him personally to suggest that being a serial sexual predator is a disqualification from holding high office.

“Kavanaugh seems to be a good man.”

Okay. I think we are in total agreement that the US government neglected its duty to its citizens with its shoddy and inadequate response to Katrina and Maria. They did not, however, build a giant wall around New Orleans and literally say, “This is no longer part of the United States, we have ceded our claim to this…

I never played any games like that. I was too busy “snorting massive rails of cocaine”, which was what we called blowing our noses when we had a sinus infection, and “injecting heroin directly into my eyeballs”, which was our term for spending extra time in the bathroom due to stomach upset.

Every time our Kaylee grabs corn chips straight out of any bag left unattended for more than thirty seconds, my wife just sighs out, “What part of ‘obligate carnivore’ do you not understand?”

“Good faith? Assumption of best intentions? Assumption that you’re dealing with a reasonably intelligent person? (I know, this is the internet.)”

Except that Kavanaugh knows that Trump will back him to the mouth of hell (I know because that’s roughly where we are right now). If backdoor pressure doesn’t work, maybe all McConnell can do is make the vote happen and let the chips fall where they may.

“...a...chills-inducing...geyser of...g...o...r...e...in the dark.”

Ditching Liefeld and locking Todd MacFarlane in an attic somewhere with a bunch of toys really worked wonders for their credibility as a company.

Well, women know only about their own sexual assault. These guys assault hundreds of women know about the assaults on hundreds of women.

Their empathy is wired backwards. They have tons of fucking empathy for rich white guys whose whims aren’t being catered to anymore, and absolutely none for the people whose lives get destroyed by those same rich white guys.

Hawt Take: Fingerling potatoes, brushed with olive oil and lightly salted, tossed into the oven for 30 minutes at 400, come out perfectly tender and just the right size to pop in your mouth whole in vast quantities.

Same way as the regular Wolverine. He’s not Bruce Wayne--Bruce wound up joining SHIELD in that universe. He’s Logan, only dressed up as a bat instead of a wolverine.

Nope nope nope nope nope. No Man’s Land is just fucking ludicrous. “Oh, yes, the United States government has decided to abandon an entire major city to the street gangs because... well, because a ludicrously OTT mind-controlling supervillain named ‘Nicholas Scratch’ said so, but that’s such a stupid reason we’re…

I once described Onslaught/Heroes Reborn as “like a great big Viking funeral for shitty 90s comics”. It works if you think of Onslaught the villain as the literal embodiment of crappy unmotivated heel turns and surprise revelations, torn free from his hosts and looking to remake comics in his image. (Image?)

I love it when the Maggia sends a whole bunch of roided out supervillains at him, and they say that there’s no way he can survive it. And the casino owner that the Hulk is working for actually starts taking bets.

As I said at one point: “Marvel and DC looked over at Image to try to figure out what was making them so popular, and all they could take away was that comics needed to be louder and shittier.”

Relevant Good Place quote: