I was thinking about taking him to the Mall of America on Eid Mubarak. He’d utterly lose his tiny little xenophobic mind.

I think he hasn’t fired him yet because McGahn has (possibly with the aid of puppets and chalkboard diagrams) explained to him that explicitly saying, out loud and in public, that you want to fire a guy for refusing to obstruct justice on your behalf is a bad idea, especially when he’s refusing to obstruct justice by…

“O’Rourke says that black children are being killed at a frightening level, but I’m positively gleeful about it! Oh shit, did I say that out loud?”

But your argument is that “the market has decided” he’s ready to perform again. And the market most definitely hasn’t, because nobody buying those tickets thought they were buying a ticket to see Louis CK. If Dylann Roof had wandered on stage, it wouldn’t mean that suddenly “the market” supported white…

“Oh, hey, you know, if people said no to the guy who has a tremendous number of influential friends in the industry and could get them blacklisted by spreading rumors about them being ‘difficult to work with’ or other vague and non-specific but entirely real ways of crushing their career, I would totally have…

But nobody did come to see this performance. It was unannounced and apparently unapproved by the owner of the venue. It would be like heckling a random drunk who came up on stage and grabbed the mic.

“The market should decide! That’s why it’s okay that he went on unannounced to an audience that had paid for tickets to see someone else—because the market is deciding!”

The drone guns honestly infuriate me, because it always highlights a major plot hole--there are way more aliens than there were humans to incubate them.

Trust me, it’s not Mexican drug cartels that are lobbying for weed to remain illegal. Mostly it’s alcohol and tobacco manufacturers, who don’t want the competition, and police unions, because seizing property from marijuana dealers is very lucrative for them and god it’s horrifying and disgusting just typing that.

Yep! Overnight, they went from my wife’s favorite brand to mozzarella non grata after that ACA comment.

...does that work? Asking for a friend.

“Curt Schilling should serve as a cautionary tale”

Mock the Saints all you want, but gumbo is fucking delicious and there’s no getting around it.

Or “McGoihng McGoihng McGahn”.

[Pull out. The entire thing is inside a snowglobe, held by a dying Donald Trump. It falls from his outstretched hand as he whispers the cryptic and inexplicable last words, “Witch hunt...”]

Darkness With Benefits

He’s basically setting up the narrative so that any violence perpetrated by right-wing nutjobs after the elections will be blamed on the Democrats. Because lying and shifting blame are the only things Republicans know how to do anymore.

This does kind of boil down to “you should shut up and let everyone who disagrees with you talk, then let the marketplace of ideas decide who’s right!” Nobody is literally suggesting that legal measures be taken to prevent Louis CK from having a career, they’re just expressing their displeasure and publicly noting…

Yes, because men take rejection so well, and certainly don’t respond to a direct and unambiguous “no” by doing things like shooting a woman, or stabbing her, or punching hard enough to fracture her eye socket. That kind of thing doesn’t happen.

No. Why would you even begin to think that? Do you do this with other areas of your life? “Oh, so you stopped for that pedestrian who stepped in front of your car. I suppose you also plan to stop for that pedestrian two hundred yards away?” “I see you paid a dollar for that candy bar. Do you pay a dollar for…